Scoffing at all that's holy since 2004 MEET THE BASTARD Why Godless Bastard? Opinions are like assholes.  Everybody has one.  I have many.  (Opinions, that is.) You're probably wondering why this website exists.  You might also be curious to know what my motive is.  Chances are you think I'm on a mission to convert theists to atheists.  Nope.  Not at all.  I'm out to convert no one.  Truth is, I have rather selfish motives for not trying to convert theists.  Life is a very delicately balanced equation with millions of constants and unstable variables, one of which is religion.  And for as silly as I think it is, despite its bloody history, from time to time religion does do a pretty decent job keeping the children in line.  I have no desire to mess with the equation.  I'm just against all the crusading. So what is my selfish motive for not trying to convert believers to an atheistic belief system?  It's really quite simple: The Godless Bastard wants you to be obedient to your god and fearful of eternal punishment.  Once that fear goes away morally corrupt people like you will start breaking the rules and then we'll all be in a world of shit. Christians argue that one can't be moral without god.  They say that without god we can't know what's right and what's wrong.  Personally I think that's a crock of bat guano, but I'm going to hold them to that maxim as it works to my advantage. If they're right, then you should all be scared senseless.  If it wasn't for their belief in (and fear of) a vengeful god, Christians would be raping and murdering little children as well as every other vile, repulsive, morally repugnant, depraved act imaginable.  Sorry kids, but it has to work both ways.  You can't argue that one can't be moral without god and then take offense to the charge of your would-be immorality without him in your life.  I know it stings a little, cupcake.  But feel free to start backpedaling anytime you please.  I'm ecstatic either way. How truly sad Christians are.  How morally off-center (and common sense-lacking) a person must be to need the fear of eternal damnation to keep them from committing the most evil of human acts.  I have more faith and trust in my dog's ability not to crap on the carpet.  Anyone with half a brain and an ounce of decency would know not to do these things and not need any god to command them as such, but I suppose there's no accounting for intelligence. If the fear of going someplace really awful for all eternity is going to keep you from killing, raping, molesting, stealing, deceiving, cheating, vandalizing, selling drugs to little kids and being an all-around scumbag, then I want you to believe with all your heart.  And I want you as fearful of god as possible.  I want you to dance like the fearful, obedient, well-trained little monkey that your god commands you to be.  It makes me feel safe and secure to know that there's one less would-be criminal to worry about.  If nothing else you're entertaining as hell to watch. But even more to the point, when it comes to dealing with theists my selfishness extends to a "more for me" attitude.  That is to say, being as religion enslaves minds, it's to my advantage for theists to stay as unenlightened as possible.  (If you don't understand this then you are most certainly not an atheist and my assertion is therefore correct.)  If this makes me a bad person, well, then, I suppose I'm guilty as charged.  This is why I don't preach to theists as they would preach to me, and I no longer entertain their silly arguments.  I've wasted too much time over the years trying to shed a little atheistic light in that manner, but only in direct response to unsolicited rhetoric thrown my way.  Now I see the whole debating endeavor as a complete waste of my time.  I consider most theists to be a lost cause anyway.  Unfortunately, they don't feel the same way about me. Believe me when I say that if you're an evangelical Christian I want you just as you are...except for all the unsolicited preaching.  But I'm a realistic guy and I look for a win wherever I can find one.  If this website gives you only a moment of pause, that's great.  If it makes you ease up on the preaching even just a little -- at the very least when you know it's not appreciated -- then I'll be ecstatic.  And if neither of these applies but my website pisses you off, then you will have paid me the highest compliment.  And gauged by the insane volume of Christian hate mail I'm receiving, this website is doing its job quite nicely. But still, why does this website exist? What's Good for the Goose When was the last time you saw an atheist standing on a street corner handing out anti-religion tracts or pamphlets on evolution?  Find any offensive atheist propaganda in a hotel room night table lately?  Hmm? Ever turn on your TV on a Sunday morning and find 20 channels dedicated to atheism broadcasting where some authority figure begs for money?  See any atheist missionaries invading third-world nations trying to convince poor, uneducated, vulnerable Christians to reject Jesus?  How about an anti-religion telethon, rock concert, protest, or rally?  When was the last time you had an atheist knock on your front door trying to persuade you to abandon your god?  To all these things and many more, the answer is probably never.  Aside from a few aberrant instances, all of these unsolicited offenses are reserved for theists, almost always Christians. Maybe I'm a magnet for it, or perhaps I'm just one of those lucky people, but Evangelical Christians love to shove their rhetoric in my face.  And they do so with long-winded inane diatribes hinging on silly premises, founded in circular logic, and reeking of desperation.  What's so thoroughly amazing is that they're all completely oblivious to the fact that I'm neither impressed nor intimidated, and that I can't be sold and that I just don't care. Know this:  I am not being proactive.  I am merely being reactive. This website was inspired by (and evolved in direct response to) a world filled with unsolicited in-your-face Christian rhetoric to which I chose to respond. Know that my response was not prompted by insecurity or anger.  It was prompted entirely by principle and a desire to provide some much need parity and perspective. Unsolicited religious rhetoric is offensive to my ears.  If you're one who preaches let my rhetoric be offensive to yours.  You'll soon have a good idea of how I feel when a Christian shoves his beliefs in my face.  Actually, you already know as you've been fuming since the second paragraph on this page.  But that's okay.  You'll quickly forget that I made this prediction -- or you'll conveniently deny your offense.  (Trust me, you will.) For the most part, the discussion, promotion, and advocacy of atheism and agnosticism in general have been left to the Internet in a wholly unsolicited manner.  This is my small part.  If you're offended by it, then remind yourself that you came to me.  All I did was set the trap to make a point -- and if you've read this far you've already stepped into it. Just do yourself a favor and bookmark this page right now.  I'll reference it in my response to the hate mail you'll feel compelled to send me.  (And you will.)  But you'll temper your response so as not to give me the satisfaction.  Seen it a thousand times.  You'll kick it off with some derivation of a non-confrontational "This isn't hate mail..." or faux open-minded and non-aggressive "I just don't get it..." lead-in.  Of course, my all-time favorite hate mail veil is the thin "You seem like an intelligfent guy..." compliment.  Feel free to choose any flavor you prefer but I'll always see it for what it is. Hint: Just copy and paste your choice of the italicized text above into your email.  I'm all about making your life easier, folks. Just Who the Hell Do I Think I Am? I was raised in an ultra-reformed Jewish home.  I went to Hebrew school and had a Bar Mitzvah.  I was even confirmed when I was in high school -- although I must admit that I was just going through the motions at that point.  I suppose it was partly due to my love of the Jewish culture.  (Unless you were raised in it that might be hard to understand.)  Many people would consider me to be a secular Jew, but I reject its beliefs as I do all other religions.  Fortunately, once I was old enough (around 14 or so) to start seeing religious dogma for what it was, I officially declared myself an atheist and disassociated myself from inane theological beliefs that bind and enslave the mind. I consider myself to be very intelligent, well educated, well rounded, well traveled, opinionated beyond definition and stubborn as a mule.  I am also imperfect.  Everyone is.  That's what keeps the playing field level.  But if nothing else the Godless Bastard always keeps his word.  Again, I am not being proactive.  I am merely being reactive.  The day Evangelical Christians knock off all the unsolicited preaching is the day I'll retire this website.  Will that day ever come?  Not a chance.  Am I crazy enough to believe that my stupid website will have any impact?  Of course not, but it will remain on principle. My Site, My Rules I have a lot to say about almost everything.  My opinions are not always correct and they may not always be of interest you, but I don't care.  You see, that's the definition of an opinion.  And if you don't want to hear mine because you feel threatened by what I have to say, then exercise your freedom of choice and find a website that soothes your insecurities. The Godless Bastard calls 'em as he sees 'em.  Throughout this website I will judge, criticize, mock, and laugh at people who I  deem to be religious lunatics...like this moron (below):     Embrace the painful truth, Christians.  I know it's kills you to admit it, but we both know that you think he's thoroughly delusional.  You judge his relative intelligence because of his inane beliefs...just as I judge yours.  And intellectually, you think MUCH less of him...as I do you.  He's weak, gullible, and a total fool.  (It stings a bit, doesn't it Bubeleh?) Some of you will agree with my opinions, in whole or in part.  If you are one of them I commend you.  Enjoy my website take from it whatever you please.  I welcome your comments and thank you for your support. Some of you will disagree with me.  You may find me offensive, insulting, mean or [insert your own adjective].  If you're one of them, that's fine.  I don't care.  Feel free to leave and never return to this site.  Send all the hate mail you desire or go tell someone who cares.  I will read each email received and try to respond as time permits.  I won't entertain debate challenges for reasons already stated, but I'll give you all the equal time you'd like to showcase your opinions and theories.  I'll post your email (uncensored and unedited) right here on the site.  And rest assured that your anonymity request will be honored. Some of you will be indifferent about my opinions.  If you are one of them, that's fine.  I would encourage you to enjoy my writings and consider putting proselytizers in their place the next time you're the recipient of unsolicited religious rhetoric.  At the very least I'm sure you will find this website entertaining. If you don't believe in god then share this website with your like-minded friends as they might enjoy it.  If you do believe in god then share it with your like-minded friends as they need to pray for me.  Go ahead.  I defy your god and personally dare you to do so. To give me feedback about this site, yell at me or sign up for my newsletter, visit the Talk to The Bastard page.  If you have a question for me, check my FAQ first. Feel free to link to my site.  Any way you want to do it is fine, but use one of my banners if you can.  Resize them as needed.  Banner 1  Banner 2  Right-click on a link and select Save Target As. Thanks for visiting, and enjoy!  And kudos to you if you recognize the voice on my welcome page.  (Don't bother clicking if you're under 38 years old.) By the way, the pervasive lowercase g and h is intentional.  (You're smart.  You'll figure it out.) ~The Godless Bastard Sign my New Guestbook or view the old one if you're bored. DISCLAIMER: All articles within this website excluding those within external links (i.e. other websites that I've linked to) and where otherwise noted, were authored by and are absolute property of "The Godless Bastard."  You have his permission to use any of his writings (in whole or in part) as long as you agree to: (1) not modify anything, (2) cite him as the author, and (3) link to this website.  You may link to this website from any website without restriction.  The Godless Bastard is not responsible for bad shit that happens to you or anyone else, directly or indirectly, as a result of this website's existence or from any use of its content -- except for your genitals being chewed off by a wolverine or the Red Sox ever winning the World Series again.  Go blame your silly god.  It was part of his "master plan" anyway. Copyright © 2004 The Godless Bastard. All Rights Reserved.