Why
Godless Bastard? (To make a fucking
point.) Opinions are like assholes.
Everybody has one. I have many. (Opinions, that
is.)
You're probably wondering why
this website exists. You might also be curious to know
what my motive is. Chances are you think I'm on a
mission to convert theists to atheists. Nope. Not
at all. I'm out to convert no one. Truth is, I
have rather selfish motives for not trying to convert
theists. Life is a very delicately balanced equation
with millions of constants and unstable variables, one of
which is religion. And for as silly as I think it is,
despite its bloody history, from time to time religion does do
a pretty decent job keeping the children in line. I have
no desire to mess with the equation. I'm just against all the
crusading.
So what is my selfish motive for
not trying to convert believers to an atheistic belief
system? It's really quite simple: The Godless Bastard wants you to be obedient to
your god and fearful of eternal punishment. Once
that fear goes away morally corrupt people like you will start
breaking the rules and then we'll all be in a world of
shit.
Christians argue that one can't
be moral without god. They say that without god we can't
know what's right and what's wrong. Personally I think
that's a crock of bat guano, but I'm going to hold them to
that maxim as it works to my advantage.
Well, if Christians
are correct and justified in the aforementioned
postulation then you should all be scared
senseless. Why? Because if it wasn't for their
belief in (and fear of) a vengeful god, they would all be
raping and murdering little children as well as committing
every other vile, repulsive, morally repugnant, depraved act
imaginable. Sorry kids, but it has to work both
ways. You can't argue that one can't be moral without
god and then take offense to the charge of your would-be
immorality without the ever-watchful big bad sky
cop punisher in your life. I know it stings a
little cupcake, but feel free to start backpedaling anytime
you please. I'm ecstatic either way.
How truly sad Christians
are. How morally off-center and common sense-lacking a
person must be to need the fear of eternal damnation to keep
them from committing the most evil of human acts. I have
more faith and trust in my dog's ability not to crap on the
carpet. Anyone with half a brain and an ounce of decency
would know not to do these things and not need any god to
command them as such, but I suppose there's no accounting for
intelligence.
If the fear of going someplace
really awful for all eternity is going to keep you from
killing, raping, molesting, stealing, vandalizing,
deceiving, cheating, selling drugs to little kids and being an
all-around scumbag, then I want you to believe with all your
heart. And I want you as fearful of god as
possible. I want you to dance like the fearful,
obedient, well-trained little monkey that your god commands
you to be. It makes me feel safe and secure to know
that there's one less would-be criminal to worry
about. If nothing else you're entertaining as hell to
watch.
But even more to the point, when
it comes to dealing with theists my selfishness extends to a
"more for me" attitude. I admit this openly and without
shame. Being as religion enslaves easily
malleable minds it's to my advantage for theists to stay
as unenlightened as possible. (If you don't
understand or accept this then you are most certainly not
an atheist and my assertion is therefore correct.) At
any rate, this is why I don't preach to theists as they would
preach to me and I no longer respond to their silly
arguments with any expectation of enlightenment
instilled. (No, this site isn't preaching; it's
ranting. Got it? And remember, you came
to me.) Where I once engaged the theistically
misguided I now write them off as a lost and hopeless
cause. Unfortunately they don't feel the same way about
me.
Believe me when I say that if
you're a god-fearing bible-punching evangelical Christian
I want you just as you are...except for
all the unsolicited preaching. But I'm a
realistic guy and I look for a win wherever I can find
one. If this website gives you only a moment of pause,
that's great. If it makes you ease up on the preaching
even just a little, at the very least when you know it's not
appreciated, then I'm ecstatic. And if neither of these
apply but I've managed to piss you off, then you
will have paid me the highest compliment. And gauged by
the insane volume of Christian hate mail I receive, this
website is doing its job quite nicely. But still,
why does this website exist?
(Oh, you're on to something.
Study the line to the left.)
What's Good for the Goose is a taste of his own
medicine. When was the last time you saw an atheist
standing on a street corner handing out anti-religion tracts
or pamphlets on evolution? Find any offensive atheist
propaganda in a hotel room night table lately?
Hmm?
Ever turn on your TV on a Sunday
morning and find 20 channels dedicated to atheism broadcasting
where some authority figure begs for money? See any
atheist missionaries invading third-world nations trying to
convince poor, uneducated, vulnerable Christians to reject
Jesus?
How about an anti-religion telethon, rock
concert, protest, or rally? When was the last time you
had an atheist knock on your front door trying to persuade you
to abandon your god? To all these things and many more,
the answer is probably never.
Aside from a few aberrant
instances, all of these unsolicited offenses are reserved for
theists, almost always Christians.
Maybe I'm a magnet for it, or
perhaps I'm just one of life's lucky people, but
evangelical Christians love to shove their rhetoric in my
face. And they do so with long-winded inane diatribes
hinging on silly premises, founded in circular logic, and
reeking of desperation. What's so thoroughly amazing is
that they're all completely oblivious to the fact that I'm
neither impressed nor intimidated, and that I can't be sold
and that I just don't care.
Why All the Attitude? (I'm baiting
you.) People often ask me why I'm so over
the top, nasty, and insulting. Simply stated, it's just
my shtick to make a point.
Know this: I am not being proactive. I am merely
being reactive.
This website was inspired by (and
evolved in direct response to) a world filled with unsolicited
in-your-face Christian rhetoric to which I
chose to respond.
Know that my response was not
prompted by insecurity or anger. It was prompted
entirely by principle and a desire to provide some much need
parity and perspective.
Unsolicited religious rhetoric is
offensive to my ears. If you're one who preaches let my
rhetoric be offensive to yours. You'll soon have a good
idea of how I feel when a Christian shoves his beliefs in my
face. Actually, you already know as you've been fuming
since the second paragraph on this page. But that's
okay. You'll quickly forget that I made this prediction
or you'll conveniently deny your offense -- and trust me, you
will.
For the most part, the
discussion, promotion, and advocacy of atheism and agnosticism
in general have been left to the Internet in a wholly
unsolicited manner. This is my small part. If
you're offended by it, then remind yourself that you came to
me. All I did was set the trap to make a point -- and if
you've read this far you've already stepped into it.
If you're a
theist, especially a Christian, do yourself a favor and
bookmark this page right now because I'll be referencing
it in my response to the hate mail you'll feel compelled
to send me. (And you will.) But you'll
temper your response so as not to give me the
satisfaction. I've seen it a thousand times.
You'll kick it off with some derivation of a
non-confrontational "This isn't
hate mail" or faux open-minded and
non-aggressive "I just don't get
it" lead-in. In a failed attempt
to mask your own pain and guilt-ridden self-loathing,
some of you will opt for the "Why are you so angry?" or "I
pity you" approach. But my
all-time favorite hate mail veil is the thin and
insincere "You seem like an
intelligent guy" compliment. Feel free
to choose any flavor you prefer but I'll always see it
for what it is.
Hint: Just copy and
paste your choice of the italicized text above into
your email. I'm all about making your life easier,
folks.
Just Who the Hell Do I Think I Am? (Someone who's hopeful that you'll get
the point.) I was raised in an
ultra-reformed Jewish home. I went to Hebrew school and
had a Bar Mitzvah. I was even confirmed when I was in
high school, although I was really just going through the
motions. I suppose it was mostly due to my love of
the Jewish culture and the fact that all my Jewish friends
were doing likewise. (Unless you
were raised in a culturally Jewish home that
might be a bit hard to understand.) But did I ever
believe in god? No. It sounded all too
manufactured and just too easy.
Many people would
consider me to be a secular Jew, but I reject the
beliefs of Judaism as I do all other religions. And
never did its tenets influence my moral code,
worldview, or the way I lived my life. (Innate
human decency, common sense, and a little fear of man's law
shaped all those things quite nicely without the need for some
spooky divine law giver.) And so around the time I
was 13, after my requisite Bar Mitzvah had passed,
I officially declared myself an atheist and disassociated
myself from inane theological beliefs and
practices.
I consider myself to be very
intelligent, well educated, well rounded, well traveled,
opinionated beyond definition, and stubborn as a mule. I
am also imperfect. Everyone is. That's what keeps
the playing field level. But if nothing else the Godless
Bastard always keeps his word. Again, I am not being
proactive. I am merely being reactive. The day
evangelical Christians knock off all the unsolicited preaching
is the day I'll retire this website. Will that day ever
come? Not a chance. Am I crazy enough to believe
that my stupid website will have any impact? Of course
not, but it will remain on principle.
My Site, My
Rules (You'll send me hate mail
because you don't like
them.) I have a lot to say about almost
everything. My opinions are not always correct and they
may not always be of interest you, but I don't care. You
see, that's the definition of an opinion. And if you
don't want to hear mine because you feel threatened by what I
have to say, then exercise your freedom of choice and find a
website that soothes your insecurities.
The Godless Bastard calls 'em as
he sees 'em. Throughout this website I will judge,
criticize, mock, and laugh at people who I deem to be
religious lunatics...like this moron (below):
Embrace the painful truth,
Christians. I know it's kills you to admit it, but
we both know that you think he's thoroughly
delusional. You judge his relative intelligence because
of his inane beliefs...just as I judge
yours. And intellectually you think much
less of him, as I do you. He's weak, gullible, and a
total fool. (It stings a bit, doesn't it
Bubeleh?) Well, I don't draw lines based on the flavor
of belief and I never sugar-coat what others choose to
whitewash. Sorry, but you're delusional if you
believe in talking snakes. I have (and choose to find)
no other way to say it.
Some of you will agree with my
opinions, in whole or in part. If you are one of them I
commend you. Enjoy my website take from it whatever you
please. I welcome your comments and thank you for your
support.
Some of you will disagree with
me. You may find me offensive, insulting, mean or
[insert your own adjective]. If you're one of them,
that's fine. I don't care. Feel free to leave and
never return to this site. Send all the hate mail you
desire or go tell someone who
cares. I will read each email received and
try to respond as time permits. I won't entertain debate
challenges for reasons already stated, but I'll give you all
the equal time you'd like to showcase your opinions and
theories. I'll post your email (uncensored
and unedited) right here on the site. And rest
assured that your anonymity request will
be honored.
Some of you will be indifferent
about my opinions. If you are one of them, that's
fine. I would encourage you to enjoy my writings and
consider putting proselytizers in their place the next time
you're the recipient of unsolicited religious rhetoric.
At the very least I'm sure you will find this website
entertaining.
If you don't believe in
god then share this website with your like-minded friends as
they might enjoy it. If you do believe in god
then share it with your like-minded friends as they need to
pray for me. Go ahead. I defy your god and
personally dare you to do so. I also get my fair
share of hate mail from high-ground atheists and agnostics who
don't care much for my (patently over the top) manner of
delivery. If you fall into this category, I
ask you to lose the attitude so that you might understand
the reason for mine. I already explained it all over
this page but you missed it for the same reason that most
theists do. Try again, and this time try listening
instead of reacting. I have faith that you're smarter
than your average theist, so hang in there big guy.
And
to the believers who still don't get what this is all
about, I'll give you a hint. The answer is on this very
page but you'll be in the dark until you find it.
Hit Me With Your Best
Snot (Hyperlinks are
important. Go back and try
again.) To give
feedback about the site, yell at me, call me names, send me
pictures of your tits (yes, I get them all the
time), or sign up for my newsletter, visit the Talk to The
Bastard page. I'll answer any questions you
may have, but check my FAQ first.
If you would
like to reproduce any of my work or link to this site,
please read the Adbella Rule first.
Link any way you want
but use one of my banners if it's convenient and resize them
as needed. Banner 1Banner 2Right-click on a link and select Save Target
As.
If you're already a member
of Facebook, click here to add me as
a friend. And then sign my New
Guestbook or view the old one if you're
bored.
Kudos to you if
you recognized the voice on my welcome
page. (Don't bother clicking if you're
under 36 years old.)
Thanks for visiting and enjoy
the site. And if your god doesn't like the way I live,
then let him tell me -- not you.
~The Godless
Bastard
P.S. The pervasive lowercase g and h is intentional. (You're
smart. You'll figure it out.)
