Scoffing at all that's holy since 2004

LUNACY

"Christianity: The belief in a cosmic Jewish zombie who was his own father and who can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and drink his blood while telepathically telling him that you accept him as your master so he can remove from your soul an evil force that is present in all humanity because a woman made out of one rib bone and a mound of dirt was tricked into eating from a magical tree by a talking snake." - Anonymous

When one person believes in something they can't see, they're delusional.  When a group of people do it, they're Christian (or Jewish or Muslim or take your pick).

Let's take a closer look, shall we?

How to Spot a Christian Zealot
I know it can be confusing at times, but there are telltale signs to let you know you're in the presence of a first-class wacko batshit crazy Christian zealot.  To wit, I submit for your disgust and disapproval, Glenn Moon.

This ray of sunshine and citadel of enlightenment and piety is running for City Council in Livonia, Michigan.  Check out his answers to a League of Women Voters questionnaire.  (Scroll down to page 9 to behold his delusion.)  The man is obviously deeply disturbed and unworthy of public trust, but isn't he just so adorable?

I'm going on record here and calling it first.  This lunatic goes postal sometime within the next two to three years.  I'm seeing a murder/suicide rampage over a littering incident in Livonia.  But until then, Mr. Moon may be reached here for feedback.

Let us pray.  Heavenly father almighty god, in name your son Jesus Christ lord, saviour, messiah, please show this jackass how to use words like and, for, of and the.

By the way, Moon finished dead last.  The wacko received 301 votes (out of 6432) proving that 4.5% of Livonia is batshit crazy.  (Sorry, Michigan.)

Why I Think Less of Theists
Ouch!  That title seems awfully harsh, doesn't it?  Not really.

About 93% of the nearly 6.7 billion people walking this planet believe in a supreme being in one form or another, and I would never even imply that all these people are completely evil or stupid.

I know that there are countless Christians around this spinning orb who are much smarter than I when it comes to nuclear physics, inorganic chemistry, international diplomacy, tax accounting for multi-national conglomerates, medieval linguistics, impressionist art of the 1940's, automotive repair and porn video production, just to name a few.

But yes, I do think less of them on some level and do question their relative intelligence when it comes to distinguishing between fantasy and reality.  God is imaginary and they think he's real.  Sorry, but you can be brilliant when it comes to one thing and deluded when it comes to another.

As far as I’m concerned, for as brilliant a scientist as he may be, Francis Collins is a moron if he believes in talking snakes, the parting of seas, and the resurrection of a savior god.  Having a PhD from Yale and an MD from Chapel Hill doesn’t impress me if you can’t distinguish between fantasy and reality.  He wrote:

"On a beautiful fall day, as I was hiking in the Cascade Mountains the majesty and beauty of God's creation overwhelmed my resistance.  As I rounded a corner and saw a beautiful and unexpected frozen waterfall, hundreds of feet high, I knew the search was over.  The next morning, I knelt in the dewy grass as the sun rose and surrendered to Jesus Christ."

The good Dr. Collins is deeply delusional.  Sorry.

I'm Rubber, You're Glue
I am no more or less moral than anyone else, including your average Christian.  Like them I am a fallible human.  I am just as flawed and capable of wrongdoing.  But the whopper of a difference is found in the fact that I never lecture anyone (as it pertains to morality) about what to do, how to behave, or what will happen to them if they don't.

Christians constantly tell me that I live a life of sin and that I will go to hell unless I accept Jesus and repent.  To them I'm profoundly flawed and on some level stupid for not seeing this obvious truth. 

There is no equivocation here, people.  They remind me constantly.  Per the words of THEIR GOD, I'm a fool:

Check your bible, kids.  It's right there in black and white.  Remember, god can't lie.  If their god says it, then they believe it.  Their god says I'm a fool, then to them I'm a fool.  End of story.

Given all this...

• one obvious and irrefutable fact remains: Christians think less of me.
  
• one equitable question must be answered: So why can't I think less of them?

If someone walked up to you and called you a fool, an idiot, a gullible moron or any other demeaning name, you'd have a defensive right to respond.  I hate to reduce this to a childish "Mom, he started it..." argument, but let's be honest here.  We all know who the proselytizing, name-calling antagonists are.  (Feel free to check out my hate mail.)

Christian doctrine makes it clear that I'm destined to burn on The Eternal Lake of Fire.  Even if it were true, I can't think of anything more fitting for the most evil among us.  In a world filled with murderers, rapists, child molesters, drug dealers and the like, I certainly don't fit into that category yet I'm doomed to the same fate.

By decree of their faith and the word of their god, Christians must assume and agree with my personal damnation because I reject and scoff at all that they see as holy.  But mostly, they must agree with my personal damnation because their god has labeled me a fool and deserving of eternal hellfire.  If someone's being unfair in their assessment of the other it certainly isn't me.

So, why do I think less of theists?  While I believe in the great freedoms we enjoy here in the United States -- one of which is the freedom to follow the religion of your choice and to promote it with abandon (this a paramount) -- I have no respect for beliefs that I deem to be patently silly, such as the existence of Santa Claus, or the belief that Elvis is still alive, or that the Apollo lunar landing in 1969 was staged, or that the Judeo-Christian god exists.  And I promote my opinions with abandon.  That too is my paramount freedom.  You might ask why I have such beliefs or lack thereof.  That's a fair question that deserves an honest answer.

Well, I could give my simple tit-for-tat response that would stand on its own.  But even more to the point, despite what they may say, theists do not respect atheistic beliefs.  Atheism, by its very definition, negates the deeply held sacred beliefs of theists.  I'll question the genuineness of any theist who claims to respect the beliefs of a person who truly believes that the existence of their god (or gods) is a joke, that it's a man-made bullshit story created to control the behavior of those who believe it.

Sugar-coat and euphemize the term to your hearts desire, but atheism undermines the intelligence of those who believe in any god and labels them (on some level) as weak, gullible, and delusional.  And that will never command true respect from those who are labeled as such.

This is evident and easily proved.  Read on.

Respect THIS!
Since when are people entitled to absolute respect for their beliefs just because they're entitled to have them?  I refuse to bite my lip in a display of mock civility just because I'm expected to embrace, tolerate, or respect the beliefs of others.

Tolerance and respect must be earned, and they are not necessarily warranted.  If I think a religious ideology or belief is moronic then I will respond accordingly as I would with any other ideology or belief.

And I don't believe that context or numbers validate one's beliefs either.  Take your pick:  Christianity/Judaism, racism/equality, buy low/sell high.  These ideologies are not entitled to respect or tolerance by default just because someone has the right (which we all do) to practice them.  Should we respect racism or anti-Semitism just because a racist has the right to embrace and promote them?  Um, no.  It's gotta work both ways people.  Just a little consistency.  That's all I ask for.

How silly would any sane adult feel believing in the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, or the Tooth Fairy?  They would likely never share it with another human being for fear of looking like a first-class whacko and becoming an outcast.  Would you trust an adult who believed in the Easter Bunny?  Would you put them in charge of your finances or let them watch your children when you were away?  Would you even associate with them?  Would you say, "Okay, I don't agree with their beliefs, but I respect their right to believe what they believe and I'll treat them like anyone else."  If you answered yes, then you're either being disingenuous, or you're in complete denial.  Your feet couldn't carry you away from a nutcase like that fast enough.  You would consider them intellectually inferior and think less of them because of their insane beliefs.

If I were to tell you that I believed in the Easter Bunny (for real, not a joke), look me in the eye and tell me that you would respect my beliefs and that you would treat me as you would any other rational person.  Tell me that you wouldn't think me a delusional lunatic.  Tell me that you would trust me with things of importance.  Tell me that you would trust me with your home, your finances or your children.  Tell me that you would let me teach your children.  Tell me that you would put me in front of an important sales prospect.  Tell me that you would let me hold public office.  Tell me that you wouldn't think of me as foolish and unintelligent.  Tell me that you would try to see things my way.  Tell me that you would embrace my beliefs as just another ideology.  Tell me that you would consider my viewpoint before calling me crazy.

Now, how silly would you feel believing in the Easter Bunny if everyone else did?  I doubt you would feel silly at all.  Why?  Because there's safety in numbers.  The majority provides a warm safe place for people to believe in [whatever] without fear of ridicule or being labeled as silly, insane, delusional, etc.  We'll talk more about this phenomenon later.

If you're a theist and honest enough to admit to yourself that you see the nutcase (below) as deluded and intellectually inferior (as it pertains to theistic beliefs), then you'll understand why I see you in the exact same light.

"I don't believe in God because I don't believe in Mother Goose." - Clarence Darrow

You See 'Em Just Like Me
If my (admitted silly) Easter Bunny example is too unrealistic for you, then let's come back to reality and deal with individuals who actually walk this planet.  I could reach into my giant bag of social misfits and deviants and pull out any number of human beings whose ideologies will nicely replace those of the aforementioned bunny believers.

Anyone remember the Heaven's Gate cult?  For those of you who aren't familiar with these bat-shit crazy lunatics down in San Diego, they mindlessly followed the cult teachings and directives of a demented little fellow named "Doe" (Marshall Applewhite) who convinced them that there was a alien space vehicle flying behind the Hale-Bopp comet.

These intellectual sticks of dynamite not only engaged in self-castration [crickets chirping], but they actually believed that committing suicide would allow them to hitch a free ride to Nirvana on the alien spaceship.  On the morning of March 26, 1997, these ass-hats donned their matching Nike uniforms, had a little strychnine cocktail, and hopped on-board the Lunatic Express to Nowhere.  Beam me up, Scotty!

Enjoy the aftermath video below.

Now dig down deep and admit, at least to yourself, that you see them as do I.  You don't just question their sanity and intellect, but you actually reject and refute it.  And you're a very bad liar if you claim otherwise.  You and I both judge them on their (in)ability to distinguish between fantasy and reality.  Maybe it's okay that we do, and maybe it isn't.  Regardless, in this manner we're not that different.

How about card-carrying, cross-burning racists who believe that Jews, blacks, homosexuals [insert any group which has been targeted by hate mongers throughout history] are evil and should be put to death, or banished, or shunned, or whatever?  I'm sure you'll agree that there are such racists in this world, lest you be one of those weirdoes who believe that the Holocaust never happened.

I intentionally chose the admittedly silly Easter Bunny as an example because it's simplistic and neutral.  It wasn't meant to be taken literally, although there are people in this world who are delusional and believe in such craziness, so even if taken literally the Easter Bunny logic stands up to scrutiny.  However, let's euthanize the little bastard and swap him for another fringe ideology.  I think any reasonable person would agree that the Heaven's Gate cult members were benign, non-violent (to others), soft-spoken people.  They were well educated, worked for a living (a software company, I believe) and paid their taxes.  They were also a few cards shy of a deck.

If you are inclined to argue that proportion matters (i.e. how can so many people be wrong?), let me inform you that the truth is not determined by a majority vote.  If it was, the earth might still be flat, right?  Twenty believers don't make an ideology irrational, and 20 million believers don't make one rational, reasonable, or true.  Did six million Jews (plus millions of non-Jews) die because of the beliefs of a few deranged people?  No!  And it doesn't even matter whether the ideology is benign or not.  Fringe is fringe.  Lunatics come in different flavors, but they're still lunatics.  Besides, what's benign to one person is malignant to another; such is the case with the issue of abortion. 

So let's try this again...

If I were to tell you that I was a member of Heaven's Gate, for real, not a joke, look me in the eye and tell me that you would respect my beliefs and that you would treat me as you would any other rational person.  Let me tell you about the aliens, and the shuttle, and the comet, and then tell me that you wouldn't label me a delusional lunatic.  Go ahead and tell me that you would trust me with things of importance.  Tell me that you would trust me with your home, your finances or your children.  Tell me that you would let me teach your children.  Tell me that you would put me in front of an important sales prospect.  Tell me that you would let me hold public office.  Tell me that you wouldn't think of me as foolish and unintelligent.  Tell me that you would try to see things my way.  Tell me that you would embrace my beliefs as just another ideology.  Tell me that you would consider my viewpoint before calling me crazy.

Now read it again, but substitute "KKK" for "Heavens Gate".  Tell me, would you try to see things my way?  Would you respect my ideology?  How civil and respectful would you be if a member of the KKK approached your children and started teaching the importance of racial cleansing?  Would you try to see things his way?  Would you respect his ideology?

Understand that I'm not trying to equate Christians as a whole with Nazis and Klansmen.  Christians are certainly not intrinsically evil people, and the latter two examples are patently offensive extremes.  However, my assertion is about conceptual ideology, not subjective proportion.

The Bottom Line
An ideology does not deserve respect (and certainly not acceptance) just because one has the unalienable right to believe in and embrace it.  Sorry, but it has to work the same way for all ideologies -- lest you be arrogant enough to paint the lines for all of humanity.  Wait.  I forgot.  Christians do paint those lines, don't they?  They seem to feel entitled to set double-standards and preach within the bounds of a duality that insulates any argument from refutation.

Of course, one can't really feel silly not believing in an all-powerful god who refuses to show his face even when asked nicely.  So feel free to not to reverse my logic in your favor.  I can deal with that.  Can you?

Damn You: What Christian Doctrine Makes Clear
You can call yourself a vegan, but if you consume any animal product then you're not a true vegan.  It's thoroughly black and white.  There is no gray.  You can insist that you are, jump up and down, yell and scream, hold your breath, wave a flag or whatever, but by definition you're not a vegan.

In the same way, you can call yourself a "Christian," but it doesn't mean you truly are one.  Quite frankly, I couldn't care less what label you use to describe your religious affiliation, but you're not a Christian just because you declare yourself one.  Again, don't take my word for it.  Ask the experts yourself.

Don't get me wrong.  I think that everyone at CARM is delusional, but at least they know what a true Christian is.  I thank them sincerely for answering all of my questions so thoroughly and concisely.  If you don't agree with what they say then take it up with them -- not me.  I'm just telling you what they told me and I'm inclined to go along with their summation as the official stance by an authority.

I asked one of CARM's contributors (via email) to explain what happens to a person who does not accept Jesus before they die.  He replied: [take note of what I emphasized in red]

Jesus was narrow-minded when it came to explaining what is salvation and how do you get it.  Jesus said: "I am the way, the truth, and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through me." - John 14:6 There is only one way to be saved. The Bible says this, "If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.  For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation." - Romans 10:9-10 You must believe in Jesus and confess Him to be saved. "So they said, "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, you and your household." - Acts 16:31 There are some who will look and sound like Christians, but they are not Christians.  If fact, Jesus said this Himself: "Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,' shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven.  Many will say to Me in that day, 'Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?  And then I will declare to them, 'I never KNEW you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!'" - Matthew 7:21-23 You must believe in Jesus, confess Him and have a personal relationship with Jesus so that you KNOW Jesus in a personal way, or you will not be saved. Jesus is the messiah and He will save His people from their sins. What about those people who did nice things but they never believed or trusted in Jesus? These people will go to hell to pray for their sins.

Inane Loopholes: What? Me? Unfair?
No one who wants their intellect and sense of fairness to be respected could possibly embrace a religion that damns a soul for eternity just because they were incapacitated in some manner and therefore incapable of confessing their sins and saving themselves.  That would be such an unreasonably unfair and cruel punishment, right?

So when I asked the same person (in a subsequent email) about the fate of profoundly retarded people and infants who die before, during, or after birth:

Jesus takes to heaven infants, disabled, and the mentally retarded.  (John 1:13)  Salvation is not a decision by human choice (otherwise heaven would be a lonely place).

Infants?  Wow!  And the disabled, too!  Such a nice, tidy loophole.  Can you see the whopping intellectually dishonest hole in this patently silly narrow-minded declaration?

I mean, come on.  A person who didn't have a fair or reasonable opportunity to be saved (because they couldn't comprehend it or weren't exposed to it) is spared eternal punishment.  However, my dear sweet grandmother who was born and raised as an Orthodox Jew in Poland, who lived such a good, honest, truthful, loving, hard-working life, is now burning in hell for eternity because she was never exposed to Christianity and therefore never accepted Christ?

But someone, who by virtue of a birth defect (who may, in fact, have committed murder) was automatically taken to heaven without his willful salvation?  Man, is that a Get Out Of Jail Free card, or what?  Tell me, if my grandmother was never exposed to Christianity how could she possibly comprehend it just like the infant who escaped damnation because of the same ignorance?  This is a fair and reasonable dichotomy that must be reconciled.

Now recall the points above that I emphasized in red.

This guy stated, for the record, that we must willfully CONFESS HIM to be saved and that this was THE ONLY ONE WAY.

But then, when put to a test of common sense intellect-saving (i.e. the fate of children and mentally impaired adults) he opted to defend his intellect by declaring that salvation IS NOT A DECISION BY HUMAN CHOICE.

Huh?  Well clearly then, confessing him is NOT the only one way.

And if that's the case, then confessing will not necessarily get you to heaven.  So why even bother confessing at all?

But know that this is nothing more than an intellect-saving loophole that allows the people who profess such bunk to delude themselves.  This delusion allows them to believe that the rules they embrace aren't completely unfair or unfathomable by the will of a benevolent god.  But aside from its inherent and patent unfairness, the delusion also allows them to rationalize their contradiction.

So what's really going on here?  It seems that the farce has to be iron clad so that weak-willed, gullible, cowardly people can be scared into believing and acting on that fear.  But there also has to be just a little bit of wiggle room so that the mindless sheep who promote such bunk can preserve their intellect and not seem so unfair and unreasonable -- at least to themselves if not everyone else.  Looks to me like someone wants to have his cake and eat it too.

If he ever did exist, the god Christians honor would be disgusted by the intellectual dishonesty of his followers.  Shame on them all.

But for the sake of the argument, I'll go on.  You bought the silly story and played by their silly rules.  Now you're saved and you get to live forever.  But would you really want to?

"My god has a bigger dick than your god." - George Carlin

Eternal Life: Give Me a Break
The belief that we persist after death in one form or another is most assuredly a survival mechanism.  After all, that's exactly what our nature tells us to do: survive.  I think most people (irrespective of their religious beliefs) would agree on this point.

Our species is wired by nature to strive and endure whether the instinct is "god-given" or inherently part of our evolved nature.  This is why we avoid and evade danger when we encounter or expect it, and when there's no way or time to flee we fight to defend ourselves from destruction.

But what about the certain demise by those things we can't always fight or flee from (like disease), or our eventual death by the unstoppable natural course of time?  People naturally fear death -- even a peaceful one.  We don't want to die but eventually we all will -- yet our nature (again, god-given or inherent) compels us to survive.

So how do we cope with death and the finality of life?  We serve ourselves a cocktail mixed with the fear of never seeing our loved ones again, detachment from reality and all common sense, and a wild imagination.  Some people need a little more kick to preserve the fantasy, so we add a splash of profound fear of the wrath of an angry sky god who's much like Santa in a weird sort of way.

Sing along with me people...

"He's makin' a list, he's checkin' it twice, he's gonna find out who's naughty or nice, angry god will send you to hell."

If you think about it, isn't the notion of eternal life patently silly?  In fact, I think it's downright cruel.  Live forever?  Who would really want to?  If there ever was a literal hell (and I'm positive there isn't), it would be the punishment of having to live forever even in a blissful place like heaven.

I mean, really think about it for a moment.  Try to comprehend "forever."  It's virtually incomprehensible.  But to the extent that you can get your arms around the concept, imagine living forever.  Is that supposed to be some kind of reward?  "Being" forever sounds more like the worst punishment imaginable.  Any thinking person would agree that life is most certainly long enough.

But here's the catch.  Christians won't allow this kind of simple, reasonable logic to rain on their parade.  They'll argue that it doesn't matter whether you like it or not.  You're doomed to "be" forever one way or another.  Either accept their god, live by his rules here on earth and then forever live in the bliss of heaven -- or burn for eternity in the torment of hell.

It's your choice...if you can call that a choice.  So make the only safe move and do what they tell you to do or you're screwed...forever.  You were brought into this world by no choice of your own and now you're being forced to play a game that you didn't ask to play.  And it's the only game in town.  It's the cruelest of games with the harshest of penalties...

 INFINITE PUNISHMENT FOR FINITE SIN!

The Christian god is so truly fair and compassionate, isn't he?

If it's not crystal clear that the whole thing's a farce, then perhaps you're better off being kept in the dark anyway.  Knowing the ultimate finality of life is too much of a burden for some people to bear.

God Squatter
This delusional woman lived in an abandoned building for four years because god told her to.

To Captain Contradiction:

Your question makes no logical sense.  So which is it?  It's both.  Life is beautiful AND it is full of suffering.  Anyone can see that.  The two statements are not mutually exclusive.  There can be an upside and a downside to anything.  In fact, it's rare that there isn't.

One can see beauty in the world and not seek anything beyond it (e.g. Heaven, Valhalla, Elysium, Miami) and also point to all that is awful within it without ANY dichotomy between philosophy and behavior.  You can love that brand new pimped-out SUV -- from its leather seats to its three screen DVD system -- and still be pissed off that the eight cylinder gas-guzzling monster under the hood is breaking your wallet for the miserable 12 miles per gallon that it serves you daily.  You can pay for and love the car and also hate the cost of ownership.  Listen up, Lenny.  That doesn't make you a hypocrite.  It might make you a whiner who made a dumb-ass auto purchase, but it doesn't make you a hypocrite.

You wrote, "Let me put this in perspective.  Twenty-five thousand CHILDREN die each day.  (Go to The Hunger Site and click daily for an easy way to give (no money needed).) Is it about this life, atheists? Or is it that you want to experience every level of pleasure without anyone to tell you otherwise? I think it's the latter.  To outside observers, it looks as if your views are selfish and hypocritical."

WTF?  That makes no sense and has absolutely nothing to do with your initial assertion.

But that notwithstanding, people love to drag CHILDREN (which you even had to CAPITALIZE) into an argument to sway emotion, and that carries no weight with anyone who has even the faintest ability to remain detached and unbiased.  Although I do find it interesting that you (by lone inclusion) draw the distinction.

But since you brought it up, I've got news for you.  FAR more than 25,000 people die in this world each day and the VAST majority of them are NOT children.  A child's life is no more precious than an adult's -- even if it be that of a crack addict hooker passed out in the gutter.  (I'm sure that even Jesus would agree with that.)  The mere fact that you made it about [making huge quote fingers] "CHILDREN" speaks volumes.  Such appeals to emotion only serve to weaken an (already weak) argument.

You wrote, "One would think that atheists would be more caring.  What with their gloriously open minds and their far superior intelligence, I would think that they would be the first to sell everything they own, buy a van and a mattress, live in the van the rest of their life, and donate all their profits to starving children.  Afterall, atheists have concluded that there is so much death in this one and only life -- and they obviously don't have a bias - so why don't we see all of them giving as selflessly as possible?"

I'm sorry, but this statement is just too mind-numbingly stupid to warrant any response beyond "grow up."  You might as well have said, "If you don't believe in god then why don't you just kill yourself?"  (Click here for my commentary on that stunning piece of Christian logic which we've all heard before.)

And just for the record, atheists don't claim to be "superior intellectually" to anyone else as you would love to believe; we're just not prone to delusion.  (Sorry, but I don't feel the need to sugar-coat what I believe to be true.  I love all my god-loving friends immensely and would do anything for them, but they're delusional in their beliefs.)

One can be absolutely brilliant in many respects (science, law, art, history, etc.) and completely detached from reality in another.  Edgar Allan Poe was a brilliant writer, poet, and editor.  He was also a syphilitic alcoholic and delirious LUNATIC.  There are countless others to cite.