Scoffing at all that's holy since 2004 FALLACIES AND OTHER SILLY BELIEFS Fallacy #1: Prayer Works Simply stated, no it doesn't.  Prayer either absolutely works, or it doesn't work at all -- in which case seemingly successful prayer may be attributed to other (non-divine) external causes.  That being the case, it's time for a challenge.  Since I contend that no god exists, it must follow that prayer is utterly useless.  But since those who pray obviously reject this truth, they'll have to either put up or shut up. I will give $10,000 (U.S. funds) to the first person to come forward and claim responsibility for me accepting Jesus as my personal lord and savior by virtue of their prayer for me.  Seriously.  The cash is yours for the taking if you can deliver the goods in compliance with my rules (stated below). Attention Backpedalers: There are no exceptions to what may be accomplished through prayer, and freewill is not a valid excuse to find one.  Virtually anything one might pray for can be linked to an act of freewill somewhere down the line.  For example, anyone who prays for a sick person to regain their health or for their finances to rebound is (at some level) at the freewill mercy of doctors and nurses, stockbrokers and credit card companies. There is absolutely no doubt that there are Christians with failing marriages who, right now at this very moment, are praying that their marriages will succeed and that their spouses won't leave them despite freewill.  This is an absolute certainty.  Therefore, in the exact same manner, you can most certainly pray that I will accept Jesus.  Virtually all prayers eventually collide with freewill, so I'm afraid you'll have to abandon that lame excuse.  Sorry folks, but it has to work both ways.  Hey, have a little faith.  After all, you've got the almighty on your side! If prayer works, then you could fairly argue that no prayer will necessarily be answered, but then you couldn't fairly argue that some prayers may never be answered.  That is to say, if prayer works, then anything is possible through it.  So don't even think about trying to argue that my challenge is impossible.  If your god is all-knowing, all-powerful, and listens to and answers prayer, then you have no excuses. HOW TO EARN THE $ALVATION BOUNTY ALL of the following seven conditions MUST be met in order to collect the $10,000 reward: You must pray for my salvation (i.e. for me to accept Christ as my lord and savior).  You may also have others pray for me if you choose, but I will pay only one person the $10,000 reward which he/she may do with as they please. I must accept Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior. I must announce on this website that I've been saved. You must be the first person to notify me (based on the date and time received) by sending no more than one email to Andy@GodlessBastard.com. Your email must include a phone number at which you, personally, may be reached else it will NOT count as notification.  The first-response status will go to the very first person who includes a valid phone number in their email. I must call you at the exact phone number specified in your email to verify your name and mailing address. You and I must both act on our own accord, and at no time may anyone else act on our behalf in whole or in part. This is not a joke, so please DO NOT send me an email to claim the reward until my salvation has been announced on this website.  I will hold up my end of the deal if you hold up yours.  Really.  You can trust me on this.  I mean, isn't $10,000 a small price for me to pay for my eternal salvation? Keep checking this website because I'll announce if/when Jesus and I are best buds as soon after it goes down as possible.  Tell you what.  I'll also make the announcement via email to my faithful website devotees, but condition #3 (above) will still be in effect and must be met to earn the reward.  Stay ahead of the rest and get on my email list. I will pay the reward via bank check delivered by U.S. mail. Disclaimer: Since I must protect myself from litigious opportunist nutcases out there looking to screw me over on some legal technicality, I reserve the right to retract this offer at any time, for any reason, or no reason, at all.  Litigious opportunist nutcases notwithstanding, I give my word and will stand by my offer as long as all seven conditions (above) are met and your involvement remains within the spirit in which the challenge is offered.  So pray away. Oh, here's the flip side.  (You knew there had to be a flip side, right?)  Either facilitate my personally confessed salvation to fruition through prayer, or admit that prayer is a sham. This is my challenge.  Put up or shut up. But here's the thing.  You're not going to pray for my salvation.  Not now, not ever.  You won't even try.  And it has nothing to do with freewill or god's "master plan" or anything else along those lines. The truth is, you won't pray for me because you know it will have absolutely no affect.  Deep down inside you know that prayer doesn't work.  You know that prayer is for quitters.  You know that prayer is nothing more than an act of desperation for weak-willed, self-deceiving, cowardly people who can't cope with imperfection in the world as well as imperfection in their own lives. You know all this but just can't bring yourself to admit it.  It's too threatening to your entire belief system. Finally, if you think my challenge is silly, then congratulations!  You now know how I feel about the efficacy of prayer. But if you're still deluded by the possibility that your prayers may be answered, submit a few of them online here for free.  I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you.  Actually, no.  Hold it.  Hold it for about 18 minutes.  Please. The Godless Bastard is sickened to present... The "Falling on Deaf Ears" Prayer Watch An Exercise in Human Futility (Updated Daily) Click Here Fallacy #2: Design Implies a Designer My two favorite movements are "Intelligent Design" and bowel.  Both expel shit, permeate the air with a foul scent, and I enjoy flushing them away. First, there is nothing apparently intelligent about the "apparent" design in the world around us when you consider all that is terribly flawed despite the alleged omnipotence and omniscience of its alleged creator. That is to say, given the limitations of the alleged creator (i.e. none), there's just as much apparent unintelligent design in the world.  Given this split, nothing can be assumed. Imagine you're an all-powerful, all-knowing car manufacturer.  Would you build a car that you knew would shut-down every 5 minutes whenever a CD was playing in the stereo?  Of course not.  With the knowledge of that future flaw you would be pre-emptive in your design and prevent it.  And you'd have the ability to prevent it because you're all-powerful. A god who knows everything would know that cancer, for example, would eventually infiltrate his allegedly "perfect" creation. Being all-powerful, he'd have the ability to "design" our bodies in such a way that we'd be immune to it.  After all, we're his children and he loves us.  If any mortal human would move heaven and earth to save their child  from disease, then so would their allegedly omnipotent creator. Sure, the appearance of "design" in the structure of the human eye is quite impressive, but don't you think this all-powerful, no-limitation-having god could have "designed" us so as to be spared the unpleasantness of having to squat over a bowl and expel this horrid brown stuff?  He knew we'd go to extreme lengths to get it far away from us, and he knew how infectious and disease-causing this substance would be.  He even knew there would be an entire industry based on trying to cover up its foul odor.  (Hey, maybe this is why god gave us sulfur.  It must have been for the matches!)  I can deal with having nipples that I don't need.  I can overlook such a harmless and inoffensive design flaw, but the stench of human excrement is unforgivable. Intelligent design, my ass.  It seems to me that most of human existence serves to fix those "design" flaws. Christians argue that apparent design in the world is proof of their god's existence.  I say that the billions upon billions of flaws in the universe are proof that this allegedly omnipotent and omniscient god doesn't (and can't) exist. But to indulge the notion that "design implies a designer" I respond... While I offer no comprehensive refutation of the notion that "design implies a designer," I wish to offer a perfect real-world example pointing to the contrary. From Wikipedia: Currency evolved from two basic innovations: the use of counters to assure that shipments arrived with the same goods that were shipped, and later with the use of silver ingots to represent stored value in the form of grain. Both of these developments had occurred by 2000 BC. Originally money was a form of receipting grain stored in temple granaries in Egypt and ancient Mesopotamia. Evolution (as a general concept) is observable fact.  Organisms, relationships, mindsets, technologies, attitudes, and economies evolve.  Many "things" evolve. The world economy has as complex a design as just about anything else you can point to.  It's bigger than ourselves and incomprehensible to (and unexplainable by) most of us.  It's a living, breathing thing.  It even heals itself from time to time -- just like our bodies do.  Did ONE person sit down and design the world economy?  Of course not.  Did MANY people sit down and design it?  Nope.  Not that either. The world economy has evolved over the centuries (it's STILL evolving) and continues to be influenced by thousands of variables and worldwide occurrences like technological advancements, corporate mergers, government policies, international diplomacy, wars, consumerism, the supply of natural resources, and even weather patterns.  It has evolved, like everything else, since man first conjured up the concept of currency (initially counters, grain, stones, and ingots) and bartered them in exchange for goods and services. Today the largest monetary transactions are digital.  But who specifically, thousands of years ago, first came up with the idea of using receipting grain as a measure of currency from which the world economy evolved?  I have no idea, and neither do you.  No one knows for sure. But one thing is clear: Complexity and design do not necessarily imply a designer. More silly, silly, silly beliefs and fallacies coming soon... Copyright © 2004 The Godless Bastard. All Rights Reserved.