Militant Indecisiveness

Technically, nothing can truly be known. Is there a god? No one really knows for sure. Most people think they do, but I believe that’s just wishful thinking and the confirmation bias in play. Practically speaking, everyone on the planet is an agnostic – including myself. However, I call myself a strong atheist (i.e. there is no god, god does not exist) on principle. Read my Statement of Faith for further clarification.

I have no problem embracing the agnostic position from a practical standpoint. But what pisses me off no less than Christians spewing their rhetoric are these fundamentalist agnostics who get all bent out of shape because people like me take a hard-line approach to skepticism and the condemnation of organized religion and the lunacy of religious beliefs.

For most of these fence-sitters, I think they’re just pissed off because they don’t have the balls to take an absolute position of belief one way or another. No balls to accept, no balls to reject, no balls to even critique or utter one word of criticism for fear of backlash. These are the “live and let live” agnostics. But for some odd reason this maxim doesn’t apply to their opinion of strong atheists. Hmm. I think someone could be a latent believer and is just too afraid of being wrong. You never know, god just might be listening.

An atheist is no less certain that there is no god than you are certain, for example, that your parents love you. Love is an intangible and cannot be proved, only demonstrated. (Disagree? People say “I love you” all the time and don’t mean it. And false demonstration proliferates.)

Agnostics question the existence of gods, so let’s talk about questioning, shall we? Let’s say you asked your significant other, “Do you love me?” and they responded, “I don’t know.” Tell me, honestly, would you take that as a yes or a no? If an immediate yes doesn’t come rolling off their tongue then the answer is no. Period and end of fucking story. Your husband doesn’t know if he loves you? He’s sitting on the fence about it? Sorry, I think not.

And it works the same way with the eternal question at hand.

Sorry to break the news to you, but agnostics are self-deceiving. Just like the aforementioned intangible and unprovable love, any doubt is all doubt. God is supposed to be eternal, omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent…and you question his existence? WTF? Exactly who are you kidding? If you question it, then you reject it.

When it comes to trivial matters I’ll happily concede the possibility of general uncertainty. But when it comes to the almighty creator whose existence is supposedly so evident that even a child could see it…ANY DOUBT IS ALL DOUBT. Period.

Neither Here Nor There Claims Conviction

One agnostic wrote to me awhile back blasting me for being close-minded (as he claims all atheists are) and then proceeded to tell me that agnostics have more conviction, faith, and courage than atheists.

Um, what color is the sky in your world, Spanky? When it comes to religious beliefs or lack thereof, by definition, atheists have gaggles more conviction, faith, and courage than agnostics.

Atheists reject all notions of all gods absolutely and without reservation. Agnostics hover in open neutrality claiming that they can’t know for sure given what they know at the moment. Um, hello? One position is absolute and the other is indecisive. Was that not clear to you?

I’ll be the first to concede that this isn’t a pissing contest, but the argument that open- minded uncertainly carries more faith than the absolute rejection that atheism requires is profoundly illogical and dishonest. In fact, it’s laughable.

Essentially what this disingenuous bet-hedging turd said to me was [my words], “Yes, I am militantly unsure if there is or isn’t a god. I don’t know. To me it’s neither here nor there. But the faith I have in my own uncertainty is as strong as anything that you believe with absolute certainty.”

Please. That’s just plain silly. Uncertainty is the state of not knowing for sure and doubt is tantamount to non-commitment.

Bottom line, agnostics are neither here nor there. That’s not conviction, and it’s sure as shit not faith.

And as for courage, its inclusion is so profoundly moronic that I won’t justify it with a response.

Agnosticism is easy and safe, and that’s perfectly fine and well. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with shrugging one’s shoulders and saying “I don’t know.” You’re honest. Mazel tov! But you earn no brownie points for taking a stand of neutrality or non-committal indifference. So please get off your moral high ground horse and quit claiming to have more faith in what you believe than atheists do. You can’t possibly have faith in something that you neither accept nor reject.

I’m done with you. Now go outside and play with your brother until I call you for dinner .