Someone’s Getting Pissy

I’ve received many letters over the years from Christians who took great offense to statements I’ve made about Christians being so gullible that they believe what they’re told. I should ignore such knee-jerk reactions because they’re founded in the deep insecurity of looking foolish in their beliefs. (It’s amazing how people who claim to be so faithful, with god on their side no less, get so panicky when some dumb schmuck with a website pokes them in the ribs.) But since those comments continue to draw so much hate mail I might as well address it.

Again, for the record, Christians are inherently weak, gullible, easily fooled, and they believe what they’re told. I said it before, I say it again now, and I stand by it.

Dance Monkey Dance

One of my great joys in life is watching the delicate “faith vs. intellect” dance invoked when bastards like myself force Christians to defend both. You see, they can’t. (Many try, but you can read about those faithless rationalizers later .)

The patent silliness of religious dogma itself causes faith and intellect to be in conflict on almost any point. Take your pick. There are hundreds to choose from: virgin births, talking snakes, walking on water, parting the seas, raising the dead. You’d have to be a lunatic to believe such nonsense all on faith, right? Well, the truly faithful will but the deeply insecure can’t.

Imagine someone with the arrogance to tout an in-your-face bumper sticker that reads “God Said It, I Believe It, That Settles It” and then have the temerity to take exception to me saying that they believe what they’re told! It’s like me shaving my head and then getting upset when someone calls me baldy. Just a little consistency, folks. That’s all I ask.

Check it out for yourself. Call any Christian gullible and delusional to their face and watch their faith quickly melt away as they attempt to defend their intellect. Oh, they can clamor on all they want about their place in eternity, and I sincerely hope it helps them sleep well at night. But while they’re waiting to join Jesus in heaven they can’t afford to be labeled as such. Too much in life is riding on their perceived intelligence. But enjoy the entertainment as they jump from one foot to the other in a sad, desperate attempt to honor their god and maintain some semblance of sanity.

But I suppose I understand their reaction to the likes of me. As an atheist my existence is a threat to their beliefs and intellect. They tremble at the mere thought of skeptical inquiry or a little self interrogation, so it should come as no surprise that they respond as they do to this commentary.

For the Logically Impaired

The Christian fundamentalist mind functions at very primitive level, and detecting certain nuances of figurative speech is often beyond their abilities. So they take knee-jerk offense to my charge without regard to colloquialisms or scope. They accuse me of being so unfair to assume their all-encompassing stupidity because we don’t agree on matters of faith. This couldn’t be further from the truth. (Click here to see where I said so.) Of course, even if I did mean to imply such a thing would it be nearly as offensive as telling someone they’re destined to an eternity in hell?

Some people need to be spoon-fed when it comes to the subtle nuances of the written word, so I’ll point it out for those who just don’t get it. When I say that Christians believe what they’re told, I’m not using the word “told” as a literal absolute (meaning verbally informed). And surely you’re smart enough to spot that the scope of my statement does not extend to every piece of information known to man. How can anyone with at least a third grade reading comprehension know this? Okay, pay close attention kids…[clearing throat]…

T H I S   I S   A N   A T H E I S M   W E B S I T E !

Was that not clear to you? Aside from scattered personal commentary about my life, the scope of my little online endeavor is limited to the LUNACY OF RELIGIOUS BELIEFS and those who adhere to any flavor of it. That’s all. Clear now?

Because You’d Love To Believe Otherwise

Would your average Christian believe that the moon was made of green cheese just because some moron told them so or because they read it somewhere? Of course not, and I neither said nor implied that they would.

The moon’s composition is a purely secular topic. And furthermore, with regard to my use of the word told, I was clearly referring to the acquisition of information and not the manner in which it was conveyed. Got it?

Bible lore is ultimately tied to the written word. You were told, you read, it came to you in a dream, whatever. It’s all the same. No one need “tell” a Christian anything that he or she will ultimately believe on their own accord. How they receive the information is wholly irrelevant. The compelling factor is that they believe it.

An evangelical Christian does believe what they are told (i.e. what is conveyed to them regardless of manner). The bible “tells” Christians many things, literally THOUSANDS of things, which Christians believe BECAUSE THE BIBLE SAYS SO.

You Can’t Handle the Truth

Go ahead and start back-peddling if you must, but Christians have well- established the precedent. Remember that children’s song…

“Jesus loves me, this I know, for the bible tells me so…”

How easy it is to indoctrinate [read: brainwash] an entire generation if you get to them young enough, eh? And again, I’ll remind you of that arrogant little bumper sticker…

“God Said It, I Believe It, That Settles It!”

This is my challenge: Prove me wrong by telling me JUST ONE THING that the Old or New Testament tells you that you don’t believe. If you can’t, then my statement stands.

Checkmate.

Only Liars Will Deny

There’s no gray here. For Christians it’s a thoroughly black and white thing. You claim that the bible is the inerrant word of god. As such it conveys material facts that you must either accept or reject IN TOTALITY.

Do you have the raging temerity to argue that you once questioned and subsequently rejected EVERYTHING the bible claims? Do you have the unmitigated gall to argue that you personally researched EVERYTHING the bible claims scientifically, logically, and emotionally only then to come to the conclusion that those claims were true in the end? Well, you’d have to. And then I’d have to label you a liar…and a very bad one at that.

The only way you can back up your position that you don’t blindly believe what you’re told about the bible is to claim yourself a schooled expert in ALL branches of the physical and human sciences, all branches of mathematics, ancient world history, and religion. And I’d also have to disregard the amazing coincidence that you just happened to be right about every single one of the thousands upon thousands of claims that you once skeptically scrutinized and rejected. How incredibly convenient!

And if you were to backpedal your way to the position that you let other experts in those areas scrutinize those claims for you and then take their expert opinion on each matter, then you will have come full circle back to my claim that you believe what you’re told.

So take your pick. I’m happy with either path you choose.

An Unshaken Assertion

Let’s take it from the top, just for the record…

Christians believe what the bible tells them because the book itself claims to be…

• its own source of validation
• its sole source of validation (societal self-fulfilling prophecies and apologist delusions discounted)
• the ultimate and final authority on all matters

…and that’s good enough for them. Q.E.D.

And to be fair, there’s nothing wrong with taking religious claims on faith. I take many things on faith, and I’m comfortable not having any concrete proof to support them. The only difference between me and every single Christian apologist on the planet is that I make no excuses and provide no explanations to justify or validate what I choose to believe. They love to argue that they do so to save souls, and that’s pure bullshit. Their motive is driven by their need to protect their intellect and not seem so gullible and unintelligent to those who reject their doctrine.

Read more about Christian apologists here.