Covert Missions
Plan B: The Cowardly Sneak-Attack
No act of proselytization is too slimy, cowardly, or desperate to win one over for Christ, but it rarely works for anyone with a brain in their head. So when their patent in-your-face god-vomiting fails, the most pathetic of Team Jesus resort to covert methods to touch you with the holy spirit – even if you remain unaware of it.
You Want Fries With That Salvation?
Next time you go to In-N-Out Burger, pick up any soft drink cup, turn it upside down* and look on the inside rim. You’ll find “John 3:16″ printed on the smallest, most hidden part of the cup. And if you think they chose this location for no particular reason, then you’re an idiot. It’s intentional, covert, and the act of cowards.
This passage from the New Testament reads:
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that so whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”
Now the fine folks at In-N-Out would have a Sunday school teacher armed with various written propaganda stationed at the front door of each of their restaurants if they actually thought it would convert people, but they’re not quite that stupid. They know that all the patrons want is a burger, fries, and a Coke, so they cut their losses and took what they could get.
Like cowards, they decided to force (albeit covertly) their unsuspecting patrons to take a little bit of god with them. This allows them to delude themselves into believing that they are actually spreading god’s word. Perhaps they even believe that this act ensures themselves a place in heaven.
Please note that their covert Christian rhetoric doesn’t end with the soft drink cups. Many of their items are packaged (paper wrapped) with bible verses, which are openly addressed here (with no credit to them for being honest as everyone already knows).
Needless to say, I now get my burgers elsewhere – extra cheeses, hold the Jesus.
* The Godless Bastard is not responsible for damages incurred by those too stupid to first make sure the cup is empty.

