Agenda Through Silence

What specifically are these [making quote fingers] “Family Values” that some people [read: Christians] are always squawking about? For some crazy reason they never seem to qualify exactly what this rather cryptic phrase means.

I’ve asked this question countless times over the years and no one has ever been able to answer it with anything other than a topic-changing obfuscation or some vague, non-specific, double-talk.

Oddly, it’s the same response you get when you ask about their crusade to “protect the sanctity of marriage,” but I digress.

Applying a Little Logic

I’m curious, what about single people? You know, people with no family (i.e. spouse and/or kids). Or how about people who literally have no living family at all? Do these “family” values apply to them, or are they off the hook so to speak?

The bottom line is that “family” has nothing to do with it. They call them “family values” because they seem to think it lends importance and gives credence to the underlying agenda.

“Family” implies that there are children, and children strike an emotional chord with people. Children are weak and vulnerable and they must be protected at all costs. But this is just a bullshit subterfuge. The phrase “family values” is nothing more than a marketing ploy. What these people mean to convey is that they want these [read: their] values to apply to everyone, with or without a family.

The Truth

But still, whose values are these? They’re clearly not “family” values, but we still need a modifier. And what specifically are these values? No one ever gives specific examples to sell their case. (And we all know why.)

So since no one else is willing to go on record, I’ll just have to do it myself.

What they really mean is “Christian Values” and here are some specific examples:

• Accepting Jesus as your personal lord and savior
• Fearing god
• Observing the sabbath
• Praying (in public)
• Not mocking god
• Not killing
• Saving fetuses from godless abortionists
• Not stealing
• Not deceiving
• Not fucking someone of your own gender
• Fucking one and only one person of the opposite gender…for life…but only after you marry…and not lusting after anyone else…ever
• Giving money to the church
• Denying evolution
• Getting prayer in public schools
• Demonizing atheists
• Slaying demons
• Evangelizing and getting everyone else to do likewise
• Claiming to have fallen short of the glory of god when you have breached any of the aforementioned

Are we clear now?
 

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