Foxhole Atheists

When Delusion Speaks

I’m not sure how one can legitimize a theological maxim endorsed by Geraldo Rivera, but my faith in the U.S. Armed Forces dropped dramatically when they called upon this Citadel of Lameness to do so.

This Fox News [long pause] clip shows Geraldo, while embedded with the troops in Afghanistan on a fine Easter Sunday introducing Pastor of Delusion and 5-star jackass, Terry Bewley. Watch Rivera lead the witness to the fallacy of there being “no atheists in the foxholes.”

Could this set up be any more obvious and contrived? It’s one idiot feeding another.

Geraldo: “They used to say in previous wars, there are [sic] no such thing as an atheist in the foxhole. Is this true?”

Bewley: “Yes, it’s true, very true.”

That’s it folks. That’s what Fox News set out to establish with this piece. And they got right down to it too. Didn’t waste but a few seconds either. Call me crazy, but you’d think there might be something else of greater importance and interest to discuss on a fucking NEWS show. Like Ann Coulter and Laura Ingram wearing a crucifix each and every time they appear on the network, this is part of the Fox News anti-atheist agenda.

But see, this is how Christian logic works. If an authority figure (like a red, white, and blue, flag-wavin’ god-fearin’ right-leanin’ A’murican military chaplain) says something with certainty and confidence, then it must be true – at least to simple, gullible, fearful minds. Apparently Pastor McCreepy knows the mindset of EVERY military personnel around the world, past and present. He spoke quite plainly. He was absolute, resolute, and he gave no disclaimers.

People like Bewley are too mind-numbingly stupid to realize that this is not only a demonstrably false postulation, but that it only serves to make him look like a damn fool by making such bold, sweeping statements about an enormous population of military personnel around the world, virtually all unknown to him. It is clear that Bewley was NOT speaking figuratively, and as such his is an egregious claim of absolute knowledge.

My dear Chaplain Bewley, please stop speaking for everyone else – or at least stop deluding yourself. The fact is, you are wrong. Very wrong. You’re not even a little right. Pay close attention, you flaming moron:

Your path to intellectual honesty starts here and here. And suck on this while you’re at it.

But all that notwithstanding, what these people don’t see, and it beggars belief that they can’t, is that the statement alone actually weakens the validity of god-belief as well as the emotional stability of those who believe. The statement itself proves that weak, fearful people cling to god when the shit hits the fan. I dunno, but to me that’s not a glowing endorsement of faith but rather a concrete demonstration of the crutch that faith provides.

On a final note I’ll nitpick Geraldo’s words: “They used to say in previous wars, there are [sic] no such thing as an atheist in the foxhole.”

Yes. They used to say.

Pastor Bewley would love to hear from you.
 

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