Hall of Shame: Kimber Chitwood
Meet the Face of Repugnance
From hallowed pages of endless Facebook Christian frothy bile, lunacy, delusion, shameless intolerance, and misguided patriotism, we welcome Godless Bastard’s Hall of Shame 2013 Nutbag Zealot Inductee: Kimber Chitwood.
This lovely specimen of Wisconsin cheese-stuffed frothy Christian zealotry festers under the self-reinforced delusion that she’s a [making quote fingers] “writer” and self-anointed leader of the crusade to take a stand against liberals/democrats. A quick scan of her daily wall-posting fare makes it painfully clear that her beef is really with god-mocking atheists, but for some reason this fucking moron believes that being an atheist necessarily makes you a liberal democrat, but I suppose there’s no accounting for intelligence.
This idiot might not take into consideration that a god-mocking asshole like myself is not a Democrat (I abhor political affiliations), and while I certainly am socially liberal, I’m also fiscally conservative – and very much so. (I’m also a gun owner…but not an NRA kook like the ones who get her moist.)
Take a Good Whiff
Refrain from eating for at least three hours, then check out Shitwood’s:
- amateurish (and apparently abandoned) personal website
- personal blog in which she flaccidly fails at being witty
- co-authored blog demonstrating her misguided patriotism
- highly-trafficked one-trick pony political Facekook defecation
- very cranky personal Facekook page wherein she mastruhates anyone who’s not a crusading god-loving twat like her
- terminally boring Twatter vomitation and yet another as if one wasn’t more than enough
This is just the short list of her attempt at being prolific. There’s a sweaty unwiped assful of Shitwood all over the internet. To me, her offerings scream that she’s a very bored damaged goods divorced single mom, but behold a sampling and draw your own conclusion.
I challenge you to post anything contrary (in a non-vulgar and non-threatening way) in any forum that she controls in whole or in part and see what happens. I’ve yet to see this coward step off her page and take on opposing thinkers on their turf.
This page will remain in perpetuity to chronicle her public pontdefecations. It will be updated for as long as this citadel of stupidity continues to spew her bile and delusion.
Once something is posted to a web server it is forevermore retrievable to settle matters of accountability if one wants to go through proper channels. But just in case this nutbag takes anything down, each quote is accompanied by a screenshot of the actual web source. Just click the associated bracketed quote link [Q] to the right of each quote.
An Amuse Douche
While Shitwood’s page is filled with uncountable volumes of repugnant tripe that only deeply disturbed and deluded minds gobble up, the following offering exemplifies what this insufferable piece of human excrement vomits forth on a daily basis.
“Three simple truths:
1. There is only one God, one savior Jesus Christ and one Holy Spirit.
2. Marriage is between one man and one woman. Homosexuality is sheer outright perversion. It is in fact abhorred by God.
3. Abortion is not a woman’s right to choose. Abortion is the willingly open premeditated MURDER of an unborn soul. To quote Dr. Seuss a person is a person no matter how small.
It’s written that we would reach a time when right was wrong and wrong was right. All 3 of those points listed above by today’s society are deemed wrong, when in fact these are the three that are valid and right. We have entered into a new phase in American History for we no longer are a united nation, we are divided. What divides us are the sheer principals surrounding those 3 simple things.
God is the law giver and has given us the natural order of things. Satan is a law breaker and runs amok with the deception teaching of do whatever you please. The division in this nation is central around those who choose to follow the Lord Jesus Christ and those who choose to follow Satan. The battle we face is of a spiritual nature more than anything else. Make sure you have your gospel armor on!” [Q]
Ah, yes. That classic staple in the arsenal of inscrutable Christian logic: Argumentum From Seuss!
Okay, this is all fine and well if you’re deluded enough to believe such tripe, but the only “three simple truths” revealed are that:
1. Shitwood is religiously deluded.
2. Shitwood is a fag hater.
3. Shitwood is anti-woman.
If homosexuality is a “sheer outright perversion” that is “in fact abhorred by God,” then you as Christian must believe the same – and that makes you a misanthropic hater of the entire LGBT community as well as an awful human being.
When Pot Meets Kettle
Shitwood’s cognitive dissonance (or perhaps it’s outright dishonesty) masks her hypocrisy:
“I am now absolutely convinced that liberals have a mental defect. I made a post (you can scroll down and see it) that I have filters that catch all liberal comments and not a single one sees the light of day. Apparently they do not comprehend the English language. I have been straight forward about how I deal with the demonrats and made no bones about it. I don’t argue with them, I do not talk to them. They are a flat out waste of good time.” [Q]
“How I deal with demoncrats” means that she deletes their comments and bans them from the page. Moreover, this intellectually dishonest jackass is lying when she says “I don’t argue with them, I do not talk to them.” Yes, she does. She posts her reply (which she knows they will see) and gives them no chance to respond. And believe it or not, I actually have no problem with this as she is allowed to police her forum as she fits. It’s the pretense that I object to, but she’s a lying twat so I expect nothing less.
“Only miserable people seek to criticize others. Criticism comes from a place of discontent. Discontent fosters hate, anger, envy, and a myriad of other negative emotions. As a result negativity draws negative everything into their life which renders that person miserable.
It all starts with your thoughts. Your thoughts direct your actions and your response. Think negative thoughts, unknowingly you seek out a negative environment.
You do not have the luxury of a negative thought! Counter every negative thought with a positive thought and rebuke the devil he will flee. This is the key for taking the steps to bring lasting change. Think better things and create a better environment.
Positive people are happy people. They are not in need of nor do they desire unnecessary conflict and negative conversations. Self control diffuses an argument when you refuse to engage!
At some point through the duration of my life I will craft a book that describes the transformation I have mentioned here above. I speak from experience and not some lofty ideals. You want a better life, control what you think and change what you believe! Learn to question everything for nothing in life is as it seems.
Get on your knees and look up knowing that with God good things are yet to come! Be blessed and live your life for you and no one else!” [Q]
Um, did I hear you correctly? Only miserable people seek to criticize others?
I have only three words for Ms. Shitwood: POT, KETTLE, BLACK.
On a final note, how zealously consumed must one be to not see the glaring sexual double-entendre in “Get on your knees and look up knowing that with God good things are yet to come!”
Such are the consolations of delusion.
Just When You Thought You Heard It All
I can’t possibly know whether it was Kimber herself or one of her admins who posted the following, but it doesn’t really matter. It’s Kimber’s page and it bears her name, so she bears ultimate responsibility and accountability for all of its content.
To me, the following reads like a veiled death threat or an incitement of deadly violence, but you can draw your own conclusion.
I have reported this post to the United States Secret Service.
Ms. Shitwood might like to know what you think of her.
All Bark, No Bite
Ms. Chitwood announced to her zealously loyal sheep on Facebook (and perhaps elsewhere) that she will report, or already has reported, this website and its authors to the FBI. She subsequently deleted her initial wall post announcing her intentions, but this changes nothing as a false allegation has already been made, and quite publicly so. (The fine folks at Facebook will resurrect any deleted posts for us upon request.)
It would appear that Kimber is fueled by some strange delusion that she can magically twist our admittedly childish insults and mocking, protected by our First Amendment rights, into a threat of physical violence and, hold onto your hats, a sexual assault of some suspiciously unqualified nature. We at Godless Bastard find her accusations as laughable and baseless as her intelligence.
In the nearly nine years that this website has existed, we have received many baseless accusations of the same or similar delusion issued by whiny Christian crybabies whose egos have been bruised. We have NEVER been contacted by any “proper authority” simply because everything we publish is on the legitimate side of the law.
Kimber, my dear, we remain unshaken and unimpressed. Call whomever you’d like, but take heed. We have pro bono attorneys and WILL sue you blind if you falsely accuse anyone associated with this website of illegal conduct. Feel free to test our resolve.
UPDATE: It’s been over 10 months since this moron showed me her big hairy balls, and I’ve yet to hear from any authority.