I reserve the right to publish any email received or Facebook comment posted.
Subject: jehovahs dumbass witnessness
Hey GB, I am so furious right now that I need to vent and I respect the hell out of you.
I just chased some jehovah witness assholes out of my apartment building. There was a little knock on my door and there stood some very well dressed smiling ass-faces with pamphlets in their hands. Well, GB, I immediately lost my cool (I do that frequently.)
Bam, Bam with my large caliber verbal canon. They never stood a chance. Told them to get out of my building immediately. Told them to get out of the cult. Told them to stop kissing the ass of the manipulating clown who leads them. I literally chased them down the hall and out the door.
Okay, here’s my problem. It’s a small town. Now they have marked me as under the influence of the devil. They act all polite during the day, but I could be “taken out” by their night-time goon squad. I hear they do that. Do you have any advice for those of us who have gone public against these ass-clowns and now walk in risk?
Chuck (not my real name for safety)
PS. Fuckin spell-check keeps trying to capitalize jehovah.
PSS. Sending this through a hacked city WIFI account for safety. Hope it goes through.
Editor’s Note: Dude, relax. They’re JW’s, not mafiosos. They’re not going to turn your world inside out because you verbally slapped them around a bit. Don’t sweat it. Besides, they’re probably more afraid of you than you are of them. Job well done, young man!
Subject: Hall of Shame: Facebook
Just wanted to rant and you semed understanding to my frustration…
Subject: You bastard
Dear frikken stupid bastard,
Damn you. You GODLESS BASTARD. Here is something to waaaaaaaaaaake you up, you bastard you.
May Dawkins be with you!
From: Liam Fielding
Subject: [Facebook Message]
Hey, I bumped into your website for the first time through something titled, uhm.. like “best summary of Christianity” ever…
And your site has a lot of potential but it was very difficult to read, it doesn’t look overly appealing, it has the feel of those web pages you load and you facepalm because they have the text from side to side (yours doesn’t), and some strange background colour that makes it impossible… or saddening to read.
I’m pretty good with graphics so I could help you improve your facebook images, the cover, profile, etc… If just to make them fit… And you should really try and switch your site colours so its easier on the eyes.
I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, what I’ve seen so far is good stuff.
Keep it up.
Editor’s Note: Thanks, Junior. We at Godless Bastard appreciate your support and words of encouragement for this fledgling website. Now go out back and play with your brother. We’ll call you in for dinner when it’s ready.
Subject: Documentary – REFUSING MY RELIGION Online Outreach
We are making a feature documentary, REFUSING MY RELIGION, about preachers who’ve renounced their faith and become atheist activists within the larger context of America’s declining religiosity. Being NY State Director for American Atheists, I’d like to do whatever I can to push our movement along and I’m confident this film can help. To show our genuine commitment to a cause we love, five percent of all donations to our recently launched Indiegogo campaign will go directly to The Clergy Project, numerous members of which are in our film. We understand the vast and influential role the Internet and you play in all this. We’ve launched this campaign to raise funding. As I’m sure you’re aware, making a film of this scope is a costly endeavor. Funding will go a very long way toward completing the film; we will use it for production, post-production, licensing fees, required insurance, marketing, distribution and many other items too detailed to mention here.
We’re proud to say that, to date, we have seven NY Times best-selling authors in REFUSING MY RELIGION, many of whom are preeminent figures in the atheist movement, notably Richard Dawkins, Daniel Dennett, Steven Pinker, Susan Jacoby, Katherine Stewart, and Greg Epstein. We’ve also interviewed Dinesh D’Souza and several key voices from the Christian, Jewish, Muslim, and interfaith communities.
We hope that you will consider watching our current trailer and posting this link: www.indiegogo.com/projects/refusing-my-religion on your Facebook page to our Indiegogo campaign. We would greatly appreciate any support from the online secular community that you can provide. If you have any questions or if there is anything at all we can do to help you, please let us know.
We thank you for your support.
NYS Director for American Atheists, Co-Director & Producer, REFUSING MY RELIGION
Co-Director & Producer, REFUSING MY RELIGION
Awh you mad motherfuckers ? Thank you for the page i love it ! Almost made year of excitement you. Guys are awesome love ya !
Editor’s Note: This was Katherine’s unimpressive and failed attempt to make me think that she’s not bothered by her very own Googlicious page in our Hall of Shame. But then again, she’s only 22. She’s not old enough to know what side of her playpen smells the worst. Come back in a few years when you’re all growed up and we’ll revisit your folly. Oh, and your email address? Fly to the fuckin’ max? On exactly what planet, darling? And yes, we are awesome. Besitos.
Subject: JW Visitors
A carful of Jehovah Witnesses just came to my home this morning to drop off some reading material. Somehow they had my address with someone else’s name associated with it but I entertained their approach anyway.
Two of them stayed in their car, the other two met me at the front gate. One was an older gentleman (I’m guessing late 60s) and the other was a guy in his early twenties, both African American. They were immaculately dressed and groomed, extremely polite, very disarming, ear to ear smiles.
I listened to their three minute soft-sell sales pitch in respectful silence and accepted a bible and pamphlet. Then I handed a piece of paper to the younger guy, written on it: GODLESSBASTARD.COM.
The guy laughed out loud as if you say, “You got me!” and I have to admit was a damn good sport about it. I told him that I’d read his material if he would read mine (yours). He didn’t commit to anything but at least I put it out there, so be on the lookout for some email. ☺
We exchanged a few pleasantries (nice weather today, what do you do for a living, etc.), shook hands and parted ways.
On some level I wish they were confrontational so I could respond in kind, but the truth is that they couldn’t have been any nicer. Foiled again!
Enjoy the photo. Please keep me anonymous. Thanks!
Ted from Dallas
Subject: Fan Mail
Actually religion and science have a few things in common.
Religious types rarely admit when they’re wrong.
Scientists rarely admit when they’re wrong.
And both will watch people die before admitting they’re wrong.
Subject: Reasons to Believe Podcast
That was absolutely hilarious. I gathered my god-fearing family around and played it for them. To their credit, one or two of them figured it out immediately. The rest sat there, blinking uncomprehendingly for the duration, then got up and silently walked away. Good job! Great site. Thank you.
MORON OF THE MONTH AWARD
What happened to you?
Your vocabulary is awesome, your logic – not so much.
Your life and situation is a reflection of your irreverence.
I pray you can get yourself back on track.
Ronald C Markham
Amway Global Service Consultant
Global Service Plus Group
7575 Fulton St E
Ada MI 49355-0001
Mail stop 31-1H
Global Cell Phone 1-616-914-3778
Editor’s Note: The fact that he works for Amway explains his general stupidity. Love the semi-colons though.
Subject: I am not hater
My name is Randy [withheld] and I am 13 years old. I did not read all of your web pages and I want you to know that we Christians love you even though you do not know God. I am sorry if someone hurt you or forced you to believe in the past because that is not what Christianity is about. I hope that you will come to Him some day soon. God loves you and wants you to be saved. He will never deny you this blessing if you ask for it in His name. I will ask my church youth group to pray for you. God bless you Mr. Bastard!
Editor’s Note: My response is shown below in colored italics.
Subject: James D. Newman
Hey, Mr. Bastard (I can’t tell whether that’s rude or not – total mind fuck)
I want to start this on a happy note. I came across your site a couple of hours ago, accidentally, after spending hours reading autocorrect fails. One had a mistake saying “Christian mindfuck.com” and I felt the need to see if any such thing could exist. Google was more than happy to present me with you – wonderful!
I agree with the majority of what I’ve read so far, though that’s mostly through entertainment. I am, however, the argumentative type and I can’t really help myself but point out a slight fault you made in your response to James D. Newman. So here goes:
I completely understand and agree that it’s unfair of him to have put words in your mouth, and it’s definitely unfair if he has misquoted you. You seem to have missed the point he was actually driving at, though.
Not really. The thing he was driving at wasn’t terribly relevant beyond this: I attacked the weakness of Christians [not people], and he took offense. His entire mention of me was a knee-jerk defense mechanism. Regardless, as you noticed, he quoted me WAY out of context solely to back up his point. It was as close to a straw man as one can get.
It’s not easy to get a clear understanding of his point since it’s such a small segment and he took quotes from you completely out of context, but it seems to me that his point was: it doesn’t matter where one gains strength. It shouldn’t be up to you to determine where one should “lean” in order to deal with their life. To say it’s okay for someone to search within themselves but not okay to use an outside source is simply ridiculous. I’m an atheist and freely admit that there are some things I simply cannot deal with on my own. I wouldn’t turn to a god, but that isn’t the only external source available.
You may have missed what I wrote: “Yes Jamie, it is perfectly human to be weak, but in no way does that mean that if you’re not weak that you’re going against what’s natural or human. Also know that my commentary was not just about strength (or the Christian lack thereof) but also about resilience – the kind of emotional resilience that atheists have to a far greater extent than their theistic counterparts.”
But now you’re doing what James did. You wrote, “It shouldn’t be up to you to determine where one should ‘lean’ in order to deal with their life.” I neither said nor even implied such a thing. I never made any such determination. I never mentioned even ONE way/place/thing that anyone should follow/go/use in order to cope with the worst that life may hand you. In fact, I never, not even once, said or implied that one shouldn’t turn to god to cope. My sole commentary, the entire and only point of the rant, was to defend the position that atheists “don’t go against what’s natural and human,” so I’m not really sure what you’re talking about.
I know there are many ways to argue against this next example, but I’m hoping you’ll see my point: If my entire family were tragically killed, I’m completely positive that I would struggle to have anything resembling strength. Even if there were a part of me inside that I could somehow build upon, it’s unlikely I’d manage to get there on my own. It wouldn’t be wrong for me to ask friends, or even mental health professionals, for help – that is seeking external sources. Just because one might turn to a religion in order to gain that strength to continue their life, doesn’t make it any less useful. You state it yourself that your problem isn’t with what one believes but when they push that belief upon you. If one chooses to believe in a god in order to deal with a situation in their life, that shouldn’t be considered wrong or “too” weak. I would say it is far worse for someone to do nothing, for someone to simply give up. At least one who chooses to find god for strength is trying, even if it is ultimately the incorrect way of viewing life. It doesn’t really matter. Though, I do definitely despise those who would prey on the weak and struggling to force their god and beliefs, that’s different than a person reaching that on their own.
That’s all quite nice, but would you please to point to even one sentence anywhere in that rant that disagrees with or conflicts with anything you just said. (Let me save you the time. I didn’t, so again, I’m not really sure what you’re talking about.) I never got into any of that – at least not in that rant. Not even a little. Having said this, yeah, I think it’s stupid and pointless to lean on god even if you also lean elsewhere – as long as you also lean elsewhere. But again, I never got into any of this.
You wrote, “At least one who chooses to find god for strength is trying, even if it is ultimately the incorrect way of viewing life. It doesn’t really matter.”
It doesn’t really matter? You couldn’t BE more wrong. That’s a pretty bold, sweeping, unqualified statement. Listen up. This is undeniable fact: many [but fairly not all] people make really bad decisions in life because they went to wrong store to shop for strength. I personally know people who unnecessarily (and stupidly) traded their life under the delusion that god would carry them through cancer instead of relying on the strength of doctors.
And this is where Fifi begins to pant lines of exception. “Well, that’s different.”
Nope. It’s not. And I’m sorry, but it doesn’t work that way. Fifi is not the Grand Master of line painting for the other 7 billion people on the planet. She doesn’t get to decide on a case-by-case basis when caving to weakness is acceptable and when it isn’t. Once you concede that lines must eventually be painted (and paint them you will…), the whole thing comes crashing down like a house of cards. We all paint lines eventually, and that’s fine if we limit those lines to ourselves – not others. But to start pontificating exceptions when they don’t specifically impact you personally is the pinnacle of hypocrisy.
I don’t really care if someone believes something that is incorrect, even if their belief makes them an idiot. I can’t do math, that isn’t even an over statement, it’s as simple as that. I do not understand math. For that, I am an idiot. Is it fair to judge the rest of me badly because of that?
Again, another bold, sweeping, unqualified statement that’s too open-ended to warrant credence. You really need to add a few boundaries to make it worthy of consideration. You don’t care if a stranger believes in hooey? Okay. Fine. How about your child? And that child’s [your word] “incorrect” belief could or will put their life at risk. Oh, well, just paint a few lines now to make exceptions for personal inconveniences, right? The two people I knew who opted for the comfort of prayer for strength instead of running to a doctor were not only first-class idiots, but they’re now dead. Believing something that is “incorrect” is sometimes worthy of a well-deserved harsh moment of pause. If you were a parent with a child who took this path perhaps this would be a little more self-evident.
Sure, for trivial and harmless crap, fine. Paint those lines if it soothes your need to accommodate morons. Encourage them to pair stupid beliefs with stupid actions. Go nuts. But your unqualified statement needs a small but hugely impactful overhaul.
And no one [read: me] judges someone [read: you] who supports another’s right to be stupid…simply because it’s wholly irrelevant. I judge the one’s who are stupid, and I’d like to think that you do too. So yes, sometimes stupid people need a moment of pause when they’re taking profound risks that are uncorrectable. There are a few rants on the site that get into this.
I agree that James chose the wrong use of words (if, indeed, I have understood his point correctly) and certainly didn’t explain himself well. But I think you focused far too much on the choice of words rather than the message it was meant to convey.
I think I already covered this. Add to that, not to pick on the young, but James is too young to know what side of his playpen smells the worst. Booyah!
However, I do need to end this by explaining that I’m completely aware there is the possibility that you never stated anything even close to the whole “it matters where you gain strength from” thing. There is the huge possibility that the out of context quotes were misleading, making this whole thing redundant.
Fuck. This should have been the first sentence of your email.
Thank you for reading this far, though! I would thank you for the laughs, but it’s 4:50am. Instead of sleeping, I’m here arguing a point that may not even exist!
P.S. I’m pretty sure I don’t need to mention this (and I’m not entirely sure how I’m meant to) but I would appreciate if my identity was kept private. Thanks.