Hall of Shame: Patrick Tolle
High-Ground Atheist Attacks!
Meet the jackass known as Patrick Tolle. His blog from a few years back has since been taken down, but there’s a slight hint of his stench here.
Anyway, someone peed in this nutbag’s Coco Puffs apparently, so he saw fit to soil my guestbook with several rather agitated entries of uncertain psychological origin. (Oddly, this crankcase is an atheist. So that’s one strike against us, but whatever.)
Note: The asterisks in the post below are the result of automatic vulgarity filtering in the free account offering of my website guestbook which is completely is beyond my control. This raging cunt seems to think that I’m under some obligation to find (or pay for) a guestbook that will allow his vulgarities to remain uncensored. Clearly, the prick has something wedged very far up his ass.
Captain Douchebag writes:
05.11.09 @ 12:16 AM
I was recommended to this site by my “atheist” uncle (who unfortunately is deeply contradicted, in that he admires Eastern religions). I’ve been an atheist my entire adult life, having spurned my Protestant upbringing as an adolescent.
The thing is, you come off like an angry teenager – and one who’s flicked himself off perhaps a too few many times after getting home from school (i.e., “When masturbation’s lost its fun,” etc.). Example: you talk too much. I don’t find you to be a good writer, or even semi-likeable. And as a graphic designer I despise the layout of your site.
So you’re an atheist. As the gag shop owner said to his prospective customer, “Whoopy [*******] ****.” Or, somewhat analogously, as Samuel Johnson said, “A blade of grass is a blade of grass. Now tell me something about a human being.” (as quoted in the great film “The Missouri Breaks”.)
As a good dialectal materialist, I have this to say to you: being an atheist is necessary, yes, but not sufficient. Being an atheist alone is an intellectual plus, yes, but not necessarily a moral one. The religious ****s are right to name lots of mass-murdering atheists from decades past, just as we are often prone to listing all the awful, icky people who killed babies and raped virgins in the name of Christianity (e.g.). It works both ways. Atheism is not a moral guide to action, and I do not think you should feel morally superior on the basis of your atheism. However, such ****-sucking smugness is evident throughout your site.
Let me emphasize – since I think, if you reply to this post, you’ll probably warp the **** out of it – I am not intending to sound critical of you an _intellectual_ smugness. Certainly not – I think any good atheist is a strong atheist, who feels absolutely certain that there are no gods. No, what rubs me the wrong way is that you write like an *******.
Um, I come off like an angry teenager? Actually, I was going for something more along the lines of angry white prick, but let’s call it a wash. I’ll plead no contest there. Yes, that was my intent, you flaming fucking moron. That’s the whole point of the site. I made that abundantly clear on the very first page. If you actually read a word of what I wrote instead of merely reacting to it then you’d know that my goal was to actually provoke such a response – but from theists, you wank.
And Patty-boy thinks my website looks like shit. Well buy that man a beer! Yes, it certainly does. Anything else?
05-11-09 @ 01:30 AM
That was my comment. I’d like to add that I think you’re a complete P-U-S- S-Y for not allowing “bad” words. Again, what an A-S-S-H-O-L-E.
Again with his rapier wit. Okay, so I’m a pussy and an asshole. It hurts so bad when you treat me this way, baby. Moreover, your commentary is devoid of logic. My site is dripping with vulgarities, you fucking cunt. Doesn’t it stand to reason that a vulgarity filter on a third-party guestbook (Bravenet.com) is beyond my control? Imbecile.
05.11.09 @ 01:45 PM
I think you’re an a-hole and worse because you’re smug, a bad writer, and you allow your site to be filtered to get rid of swear words in the comments section. Why would you allow that? Why not switch from Bravenet to a server that doesn’t censor? Dumbass. You’re also an asshole in your reply, in that you accuse me of having missed the point of your website. How the fuck could I? (Clear as day: religion is stupid and terrible and there’s no good reason in the world to support or tolerate it. Wow, profound. Clap. Clap.) I think you’re a lousy writer, and I could tell within a few seconds of scanning your site that I don’t like you as a person. Judging by your response, you must get that a lot. Your response was very, very defensive, in that it consisted entirely of ad hominems – and that just ain’t logical. Fucked up, stupid and defensive is what it is. Which leads me to think that YOU are the one lacking necessary reading comprehension skills. Did you even bother to address the bulk of my email – how I think your site looks like shit, that your vaunted moral superiority is unwarranted, etc.? No. You thought it sufficient to call me a child and then drop an f-bomb to prove that you’re such a badass. Clap, clap.
Clap, clap? Is that your big finish?
I find it funny that this jackass calls me a pussy and an asshole in one post, and then in the next he accuses me of tossing around ad hominems. Smart.
And he “doesn’t like me as a person.” Took him only a few seconds to figure that out too. How will I ever go on?
But it seems to me that he’s the one who’s getting “very, very defensive.” He’s obviously flustered and frothy and (as far as I can smell) in dire need of getting laid. I mean, he’s still harping on the guestbook’s vulgarity filter and the design of my site. Is this guy too tightly wrapped, or what? Maybe we could all pitch in a few bucks and buy him a girl for the night. Or a boy perhaps. Hey, I’m not judging. Perhaps that’s just his thing.
05-12-09 12:35:38 AM
You write like a eunuch. I pity you.
Ouch! I’m telling ya folks, with a comeback like that I suppose I just have to concede defeat. Oh, and the gift of his pity. I love that! I’ll save it in my sock drawer for a rainy day.
05-12-09 01:04:05 PM
Way to go, “Anonymous”, i.e. “Bastard”, i.e. obviously fat ugly bastard. That was a great response. I loved how you said “your such a man” when you meant to say “you’re such a man”- that was a real crowd-pleaser, for sure, though it didn’t exactly have me wincing. Your reading comprehension skills seem again to have failed badly. I haven’t read your website thoroughly because I think you’re a shitty writer and a low-level thinker. After submitting this comment I don’t plan to look at your website ever again. I think your [sic] a smug asshole who just fucking LOVES the fact that he’s an atheist, but hasn’t bothered much to look beyond that. Above all, I hope that you live in New Yor and send me your picture and home address so that I can show you what a real bastard can do.
Mmmm. He caught me in a typo. I must be such an ignoramus. How about telling me that my dick is tiny too? I feel so…deflated. Maybe I’ll crawl under a rock and cry myself to sleep. Yeah, I’ll definitely do that. By the way, did you happen to notice his misspelling of New York? And I even got a threat of physical violence. Imagine that! Mr. Tough Guy is gonna kick my ass.
Come get me, Mr. Tolle. Show me just how tough you really are.
Patrick may be reached for bravos, kudos, high-fives, fist-bumps, and other such validation at firstname.lastname@example.org. Though take heed as he might threaten you with physical violence should you call him a name or question his intelligence. It would appear that he can dish it out but not take it.