Statement of Faith
Like a nervous tic they can’t control, Christian websites boast a Statement of Faith wherein they establish the breadth, depth, and boundaries of their delusion.
It would appear that the purpose of this offering is twofold: to tell everyone exactly what they should believe, and to make clear the correct Christian position among many – should the reader consider more than one flavor of their psychological disorder. (Even they can’t all seem to agree on much.)
Anyway, I figured I should do likewise because it is abundantly clear that Christians by and large can’t grasp the simple notion that EVERYONE (theist and atheist alike) has faith. I have faith in many things, like the average person’s reliability to do the right thing, the kindness of strangers, gravity, nightfall, my yearly flu shot, New York’s proclivity to choke during the ALCS, and my dog’s ability to not crap on the carpet.
Pay close attention. Faith is the belief in that which cannot be known or proved to a certainty – and it ain’t limited to the existence of a supreme being. There are far more things that can’t be known than god.
Theists don’t own faith. Accept the fact that you spew such nonsense because of your own religious insecurity.
Christians: In Dire Need of a Dictionary
In keeping with the self-perpetuating delusional nature of theism, theists (especially Christians) just love to say that atheism is a religion. This is patently false. But for those who can’t grasp simple concepts I’ll break it down for you. Pay close attention and take notes if you must. Religion, by definition, requires some element of the supernatural and a belief in a higher power – not the lack thereof. And since atheism rejects all notions of “god” (personal or other), atheism cannot possibly be a religion.
Atheism is no more a religion than veganism, for example. Vegans reject all consumption of any animal product based on health concerns and principles of morality (i.e. animal cruelty). Is that a religion? Unless you’re clinically deluded or have a very strange dictionary on your bookshelf, the answer is absolutely not. Veganism, just like atheism, is a practical belief system and lifestyle based on logic and principle – not the supernatural in any way, shape, or form.
“Atheism is a religion like not collecting stamps is a hobby.” – Unknown
All this is to say, if atheism is a religion then everything is a religion, and that’s just fucking ridiculous.
What Atheists Believe
Christians just love to say that atheists don’t believe in anything. WTF? We don’t? Really? Well, that’s news to me. I mean, being an atheist I thought I’d had some special insight on this one.
Okay, listen up. I totally get why you vomit forth such utter nonsense. It’s a common (and invariable) defensive position that theists often take when their beliefs are threatened by skepticism. Sorry, my deluded god-loving friends, but atheists believe in MANY things. I generally try not to speak for others (a sin reserved almost exclusively for Christians), so from here on I’ll speak for just myself.
I believe in a ton of shit. In fact, I believe in most of the things that theists believe – except in the existence of god.
I believe in the love of family and friends. I believe in the inherent goodness and morality of people. I believe that anyone who must believe in a god to maintain his moral compass is not an inherently good or moral person. I believe in life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. I believe that nature is a beautiful thing and should be respected and protected except at the expense of human life. I believe that animals should be treated with kindness except where it conflicts with my side order of fries. I believe in self-determination. I believe that a woman has the undeniable, absolute, and irrevocable right to make decisions about her body. I believe that your marriage is no one else’s business. (Now extrapolate, moron.) I believe that (among many others) rape, molestation, torture, and the willful taking of human life are unforgivable and inexcusable acts based on the consensus of our evolved sense of human decency. I believe in occasional exceptions to rules. I believe that I’m imperfect. I believe that you’re more imperfect than me. I believe in giving you a few seconds to figure that last one out. Most importantly, I believe that the designated hitter rule soils the game.
I also believe that no god or gods exist. None. Not now, not ever. That too was a statement of belief – just in case you hadn’t noticed.
What Am I?
First, I make the fair concession that I (like my theist counterparts) have no concrete proof one way or another. However, if a Christian can be so arrogant in his beliefs by claiming knowledge of god, then I will declare that “god does not exist” on principle alone.
Agnosticism (in its misused sense) is too wishy-washy for me because it smacks of bet-hedging. Add to that, self-described agnostics refuse to answer one simple question, and I refuse to cater to such intellectual cowardice.
Technically, I am an agnostic atheist with 99.9% confidence that no gods exist. As for the bronze age personal god hooey that so much of the world embraces, I’m as infinitesimally close to 100% as one can possibly get as no living person knows for sure. But putting supreme beings aside, I maintain 99.9% confidence that there is no afterlife in any dimension. When you is dead, you is dead.
Why I’m an Atheist
I’m an atheist for many reasons. While I address all of them throughout this website, the core reasons are stated here.
Most fundamentally, I don’t believe in god because I just don’t see any proof of it. Nope. Sorry. What you see as evidence I see as confirmation bias.
Secondarily, I reject all notions of a supreme being who is intimately interested and involved in our lives (and the eternal afterlife in bliss or anguish that logically follows) is a patently silly man-made fantasy. To me, it’s painfully obvious why you believe what you believe.
Religion is nothing but a placebo for the scared puppies of the world and a power trip for the power-hungry clergy. And I refuse to suspend all common sense in favor of an obvious fairy tale created by primitive, superstitious desert people to control the behavior of man and quell his innate fear of death.
Casual observance of the world will provide ample proof that long-term smoking leads to emphysema, lung cancer, and general poor health. That’s all I need to convince me that smoking is a bad fucking idea. Identically, I reject all gods because I personally observe and understand on a daily basis why people believe in their chosen gods in the first place. It’s a total no-brainer. Theists just haven’t figured it out yet – or perhaps they just don’t want to.
The rest is explained here.
Not That It Matters
I hate political labels and party affiliation, so I won’t give you one. I think anyone on any extreme, left or right, is a fucking lunatic and I will have nothing to do with them. Rational people sit in the middle and tic left or right accordingly. I consider myself to be socially progressive and liberal on social issues, but fiscally conservative. I am pro-choice and pro-gay everything. I am not pro-war, but I’m not a pacifist either (i.e. kill fuckers when necessary). While I sometimes waffle on the fence, I’m okay with the death penalty, but only when guilt has been proved beyond all (i.e. not reasonable) doubt for first-degree murder and instances of extreme human torture. I believe that the Second Amendment is clearly outdated and no longer relevant, but I can make my peace with it as long as gun ownership is tightly regulated (e.g. mandatory certification and insurance, required registration and licensing, registered transfer of ownership) with harsh punishments for those who violate code. I believe that marijuana use and prostitution should be decriminalized, tightly regulated, and taxed out the ass.
While I did vote in 2008 and 2012, I refrained from checking any box for President as I didn’t care for either Condorcet winner, and I don’t believe in throwing away votes for anyone who can’t win. (Those who do are idiots who dilute the results and are out to make a point that accomplishes nothing positive and influences no one.) And while I am someone with a fairly hard-core pre-existing medical condition, I am against socialized healthcare strictly for reasons of Constitutionality if any penalty is assessed for non-compliance. In theory, a great idea. In practicality, I’m not yet convinced. We’ll see.
I love being me. I piss off nearly everyone.