The Tail Wagging the God
Less Is Invariably More
Even if there was a god, any all-powerful, all-knowing, omni-present and omni-benevolent deity with an ounce of common sense and fairness would have laid down the law with half as many commandments that covered three times as much ground with perfect clarity and little need for interpretation. And he would have done so without all the jealous, insecure, spooky god-talk bravado.
This is what I would have commanded:
- Thou shall neither take life nor limb from, nor bring physical or emotional harm to, another human being except in defense of oneself or another when an immanent threat is near.
- Thou shall not deceive for personal gain, to induce loss to others, or to obstruct justice.
- Thou shall neither force nor coerce an act of sex upon another nor commit an act of sex with a child or adult of weak emotional stability.
- Thou shall neither enslave nor impede nor prevent any person’s pursuit of happiness, fulfillment, and self-determination.
- Thou shall not steal.
- Thou shall strive to be faithful, kind, and understanding to all mankind.
Man’s Efficiency Trumps God’s Vanity
I could have accomplished all of the ground above with only five but chose to include one additional commandment to cover sex-related misconduct on its own for emphasis of importance. Technically, the first two commandments would cover rape, molestation, pedophilia, and coerced sex (via drug inducement or taking advantage of the emotionally impaired, for example). Also take note that my use of the word “child” is intentionally vague. I’m comfortable with allowing society to define the age at which a person becomes an adult.
The sixth and final commandment covers several areas. Not that I condone infidelity or disloyalty, but I chose to use “strive to be” rather than “shall not be” [unfaithful and disloyal] to encourage mankind to be better people without the threat of punishment.
Oh, fuck it. I could have done it all with one: DON’T BE A FUCKING CUNT.
God sucks, I rule.